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| - I'm signing an Executive Order temporarily banning all items from these 7 areas of their menu from entering my mouth, stomach, or any other part of my body: Steak, Chicken, Lo Mein, Fried Rice, Lettuce Wraps, Egg Rolls, and Soup (Beverages aren't on my banned list, so I'm not targeting everything for EXTREME VETTING).
I won't say that all 7 of these are dangerous to my health and safety, but at a minimum they have the potential to terrorize my taste buds and I need to figure out WHAT THE HELL is going on before eating here again! Even for airport food, you'd hope for better. It's like the "Chinese" food version of FAKE NEWS. How could staples like Kung Pao Chicken taste so weird and be botched so bad? There's almost enough oil on the noodles to refuel the plane.
This ban is only temporary though. Because one day, when I only have a few minutes before having to catch a flight and am desperately looking for food inside the Vegas airport, I'll come back here like an idiot thinking it can't possibly be as regrettable as remembered. And when it is, I'll still be in disbelief that this so-called Chinese food made it past the TSA and back into my stomach.
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