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  • Reviewing a Dairy Queen is an odd proposition: do you review it by Dairy Queen standards, in which case you have to compare it to all the other DQ experiences, or do you review it by an absolute standard of DQ versus all other ice creams? In a sense, reviewing a Dairy Queen is like reviewing a McDonald's or any other chain place: if someone's going, "Oh, jeez, what is this 'Burger King' place?" they're probably sufficiently culinarily clueless that they're not going to BE on Yelp. So let's be honest here: It's Dairy Queen. If you know what you're getting, then you either like it or you don't. By DQ standards, it's a good four to five stars; it's clean, the ice cream flows steadily, and the staff is nice. But if you like ice cream at all - - well, not to be snobbish. Lord knows I gave it a shot, because it's the only ice cream store within easy walking distance from my house, and I'd love to have a sundae that I could get merely by walking a half a mile. And I did have some childhood memories of DQ fondness. So I went the first week it was open, and got myself a nice hot fudge sundae with vanilla ice cream, and lo! Though the fudge was nicely gooey for the brief moment it was hot, the ice cream underneath was a combination of chilled styrofoam and half-recycled plastic - utterly lacking in flavor. It was cool, and it didn't melt easily, and that was about what you could say for it. But hey! Some of you really like the air-puffed stuff, and if you do, well, it's going to give you that Dairy Queen experience. It's also good for the kids, 'cause it's cheap. If you're a little pickier, however - and I encourage you to be - then there are several of Cleveland's delectable custard stands about the neighborhood, many within easy driving distance, and if you've got the car check them out.
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