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  • I had a coupon I bought online, it was for two separate massages. This place used to be located by the Gold's Gym in Northland Mall. When I phoned to book the appointment for my massage, they told me they had relocated to Bowness. No problem. I arrive at the location, from the outside its in a rickety old strip mall, no big deal. I go inside. Basically right in front of the door is a desk and a tiny waiting area. I am greeted by the receptionist and a man standing beside the desk. He is wearing all black covered in lint and hairs, he is not, shall we say, well-groomed and professional looking. He could use a shave and a lint brush. I had a bad feeling and my instinct was to leave but I stayed as I thought it can't be that bad. Should have left. Worse massage ever. This man is my masseuse. He leads me to a room that is half painted and looks to be falling apart. Its a tiny room with a massage table and bright lights. I reluctantly get under the sheet. He comes back, puts a Tracy Chapman CD into the player and pulls out a bottle of pump lotion. I know its not a fancy place, but lotion from a pump for a massage?? The lotion and his hands are freezing. I tell him to focus on my upper back and shoulders only. He must not have eaten lunch because I could hear his stomach rumbling or maybe it was his bowels. He talked the whole time and I could feel his nasty breath on my neck. I gave minimal one word answers hoping he would take the hint. No, I don't care that they couldn't afford the rent at the old location nor do I care that they lose money on all the online deals they sell. The massage wasn't good. He repeatedly told me to "loosen up", and would tap me with his fingers. He would also dig his elbow in my glutes which I did not appreciate as I told him to focus on the upper body only. That 30min felt like an eternity. Finally it was over. I had prepaid when I had bought the coupon online. This was the worst massage experience I had ever had and I was trying to run out the door. And no, I wasn't going to tip. I tip 99% of the time, but this was not an enjoyable experience. He told me I had to pay the "taxes". Fine, I pulled out my credit card. He asked if I had cash. I said no. He said don't worry about it then. Nice. I will never be back for my 2nd massage, that coupon is going in the trash.
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