| rev:text
| - Amazing, the personas of locale. Drive just 40 minutes north of downtown Phoenix and you leave its eccentricities behind. Gone are the converted house coffee shops. Gone the sagging structures, kaleidoscopic murals. Malls replace the history of homes. Sidewalks here are manicured and white. There are no potholes.
Rising from the earth of this luxury precision, located as one might expect amongst a miniature menagerie of shops, Boss Coffee greets an opulent community with flare. Large signs hang from its front and from its side, announcing its arrival to the world of high-end cars and desert mansions.
10 minutes south of here, exotic cars line dealership after sparkling moneyed dealership. (30 minutes south of that, tired sweating homeless line the streets.)
Inside the shiny entrance, Boss Coffee is a masterpiece of unconstrained design: plush white leather stools stand at attention under lavish hanging fixtures. Every wall is bursting with décor. Sweeping displays of artwork draw your gaze. Every last detail is in absolute alignment with the next.
Even the menu is a testament to wealth: it shouts at you from four egregious screens. Pastries, an exhibit all their own, recline in tantalizing rows behind a swooping glass display - spotless, posed, and delicately lit.
MY (VERY) PERSONAL TAKE
Boss Coffee is attractive, staged, and obstinately sterile. Compared with the grit and honesty of its urban competition, the atmosphere feels stuffy and affected. Still, like a Ferrari, you must value its precision (convenience and design are careful arts).
I visited an hour before close on a Sunday. Nearly two months since it's opening. Service was very quick, though disaffected. The dirty chai I ordered was sickly sweet to me, but that's subjective. (I discarded after drinking barely half.)
Spacious, bright, and clean with abundant seating, Boss Coffee was empty except for one small group and me. I was personally incapable of settling into the space and so I left. (UNLIKE both of the downtown Phoenix coffee shops I'd visited earlier today, no one bade farewell as I withdrew.)
CONCLUSION
So would I visit Boss Coffee again? Honestly, I wouldn't. It's simply not a fit for my (admittedly hipster) sensibilities. Would I dissuade you, dear reader, from visiting? Absolutely not.
If nothing else, go to admire elements of design, meticulous particulars of convenience. (This is where Boss Coffee wins its stars.) Peruse the lengthy menu and establish a conclusion of your own. :)
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