The first rule of Bovine Sex Club is: you do not talk about Bovine Sex Club. The other rules about Bovine Sex Club include: enjoy a selection of quality draft and canned Canadian beers; be a fan of eternal Christmas; tip your tattooed waitperson; and, if you have a 5.5 hour layover in Toronto, accept no substitutes even where your inexplicably airport-licensed cabdriver exhibits a distressing obliviousness to the precise location of Queen Street.