An open letter to personal trainers with dubious credentials:
The fact that you call your monthly personal training sessions "reprogramming" is super creepy. If I wanted to be reprogrammed, I'd join a cult.
But in answer to your questions:
Yes, I am running eight-minute miles. I know this confuses you, as I am a hearty lass.
No, I do not want to take "supps."
Yes, in fact I do know how to use this machine.
No, I do not want to learn more about "supps."
Yes, I am actually reading the New Yorker while I run.
No, I haven't changed my mind about the "supps."
Now can you please leave me alone? I'd really like to finish this profile on Michelle Obama, and I can feel myself getting dumber the longer you stand here.