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  • Have I finally taken my fill of flashing lights, tasseled pasties, chiming slots and waiting in lines for Vegas clubs on the strip? Not yet. But Body English clamped a lid on my Vegas spirit (or killed my buzz) my first night on my trip. Thank god for Jet on Saturday! So, first a full disclosure. I'm giving Body English 2.5 neutral stars because I did not go inside. I have been to Vegas numerous, multiple, did I mention many? times and know the routine - it's always risky to go to clubs without an "In." I understand the drunken f***s that bouncers are up against. But BE sucked ass. Me and two of my friends (all guys) joined the pack outside BE around 11:30pm. The lack of any line structure led to pushing from behind by impatient clubbers, and pushing from the front by inflated dimwit bouncers. A cabby later told me that the Hard Rock Casino didn't double-down on clubbing when it was built and had to retrofit space later, causing lines to spill out into the casino. Since when did a Casino do something on the cheap? Women could get in pretty easily but dudes were screwed. I was reminded of agonizing times outside clubs in Miami soliciting pity from random women - offering to "please let us pay your cover and buy you and all your friends drinks for the night so we can get in!" I'm not arguing against having a good ratio of women to guys, but give me a little false sense of hope please! Obviously the bouncers were holding out until midnight when free entrance passes would expire. Other friends found some women yet still had to bribe the Fabio wannabe bouncer $200 on top of paying $30 cover each. We capped our bribe at $80 but gave up -- BE smelled thick of inflated demand by keeping a crowd outside. This club didn't feel worth its fake hype. We felt good about bailing despite having wasted an hour and a half of our precious drinking/dancing/gambling/sinful time. I don't mind waiting, I don't mind the hustle, but I do mind the lack of respect, and the lack of lines or sense of what it takes to get in. (0 * stars)
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