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| - Look, I am a local in Las Vegas so I know that you are going to be paying a premium to eat on the strip, but as far as nickel and diming its customers, Circo takes the cake.
If you are going to charge that amount for food, it better be something good. There better be fresh ingredients, there should be good service, and there should be a decent ambiance.
Circo had none of these traits.
First, I never would have gone to this restaurant if it weren't for a group that convinced me to go with them. Before we went into the Circo we decided to have a drink at the bar across the way. I struck up a conversation with the bartender there about living in Las Vegas among other things. The bartender was a nice regular guy with the twang of one of the "boys" from the old days. After talking for a while he asked at which restaurant we were eating. I replied "Circo" and he laughed and said, "Hope you brought your checkbook."....Bad Omen.
THE ATMOSPHERE
We get there and the atmosphere is like children of the corn meets Candyland. It seriously reminded me of the part in "Fear and Loathing" where Gonzo had to be pulled off the Circus Circus carousel because he took too much ether.
There are demonic Monkeys on tricycles and clowns hanging from the ceiling. Why anyone would want to eat in a place like this is totally 100% beyond my comprehension. Unless of course they are a serial killer who decided to stop taking his meds.
I understand the whole "French people like this sort of thing" thing, so ok, I can get past it.
Plus the fountains were nice to watch, but I was always hesitant to watch them as I was sure as soon as I turned my back on the tricycle monkey from hell I would get a shank to the back.
Anyway, I digress.
THE FOOD
First of all, the food names on the menu don't actually make any sense. like for instance, if its a Caesar salad, call it a Caesar salad. Dont call it "Bagna Cauda" because that's not even what Bagna Cauda is...
Bagna Cauda is akin to a garlic and anchovy fondue. Hence why it translates to "Warm Bath"
Bagna Cauda is NOT A CAESAR SALAD. And, by the way, I'm pretty sure they import their Caesar salad from pizza hut because it tastes exactly the same and has the same ingredients....But at least the pizza hut Caesar salad doesn't cost you 18 DOLLARS!
I have to laugh at the other reviewers that posted saying this is "Authentic Italian"
I digress again. I wanted to stay on the cheap side of things so I just ordered a roasted garden vegetable pizza and got a Peroni to whet the whistle. I figure O.K. you cant really screw this up.
The Peroni comes out first (Peroni is like the Italian Budweiser...Its at the most about 13 bucks for a 12 pack at the corner store.) So i'm thinking for 9 bucks they are going to come out with a Hafbrauhaus style 1 liter stein for me to drink out of...
WRONG...it comes out in apparently a drink-ware made for tiny people from another time period. On the bright side though it made my hand look gigantic in the pictures we took.
The grilled "garden vegetable" pizza came out next...Since I knew I was getting bent over anyway for eating at the Bellagio I wasn't expecting too much. At least it met my expectations. The "Garden Vegetables" were the typical Eggplant and zucchini that were grilled using the same time honored techniques as used by traditional airline stewardesses. And the crust tasted like Boboli. (I actually like Boboli crust so its not knocking Boboli...but I dont really want to pay 24 bucks for it.)
The girls got some other food that nobody could ever pronounce and they liked it at the time. It seemed fancy and shiny and girls like that sort of thing. But afterward, when they got back to their rooms they were face-down in the toilet from either food poisoning or they had become possessed by the monkey demon king. I'm guessing food poisoning since from my point of view, their fish was actually fresh sometime during the Carter administration.
THE SERVICE
Apparently Circo is way too trendy for ice water... Because they don't give you any. Which is O.K. since when the waiter actually DID come around to pour the warm water he would extend his arm across to reach for the glass, thus revealing the ripe smell of industrial armpits. I had to keep checking him to make sure his shirt wasn't melting onto the table.
The main waiter was probably nice, but I wouldn't actually know that since not even a babelfish could translate what he was saying. At least in the end he tried to stiff us on the check which had a couple charges that we didn't make.
Now that I think about it, im pretty sure the reason why they use erroneous menu terms is so that they can add it to the end bill and nobody would be the wiser.
All in all I managed to only spend 40 bucks and still look like I wasn't the cheapest man on earth to the present company. Even with my 40 dollar tab, our 6 person table was able to rack up a 480 dollar check only getting half entrees and apps.
Never again Ci
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