| rev:text
| - This place is an absolute nightmare. I'm in the market for a new gym, but this place won't be it. I arrived at Urban Active tonight at 6:10 and asked to be added to the spinning class list for 6:30. "Nope, it's full...you should really get here 40 minutes before the class starts". Bwah? Who has 40 extra minutes in their day? And they don't take phone signups, either. I shrugged it off and went to an ab class. I'm standing around, waiting, waiting, 10 minutes after the class was supposed to start we get called into a class - but wait! It seems like it's the tail end of another class. We all do some planks and bicycle crunches. The other class ends and the instructor tells them to "be sure to get here early for tomorrow's class; last time 70 (SHE SAID SEVENTY) people showed up." After the class leaves, she turns to us, the ab class people, and says that....the class has been canceled. FOR A MONTH. At this point I'm just in shock; I should have walked out. Instead I tell the front desk and they're unfazed, and they assign me to a tour with Michelle.
So I go on my tour with Michelle, who informs me that my current gym is shit (it's not, it's just expensive - it's actually the best gym in the city, and the *only* place with a whirlpool and steam room for women. It's the JCC, if anyone is curious). She insists it is shit again (I had no idea that spa style wooden lockers and more expensive equipment were shit), then becomes aggressive with me. I'm aware she's using a classic hyper-aggressive sales pitch, but I'm not taking her seriously. At 645, when we started our tour, there was a line for treadmills and for ellipticals - oh, and I saw the line from the first floor, because Michelle never showed me the 2nd floor. When I asked why there weren't more machines/it was so busy, she said "oh, well you're better off coming during the day". Riiiight, during the day! Will she tell my boss I won't be making that 2pm meeting? The locker rooms are very no-frills, and the personal training desk was so tacky that it had individual credit card machines front and center of every chair.
But really, the icing on the cake (and by now, you're waiting for the juggernaut, aren't you?) was her casual anti-semitism. Yep. She said that "dozens" of members of the JCC had been in today because it was closed. "What's up with being randomly closed all the time, we're only closed on Christmas!" boasts Michelle. Well, Michelle, it's not Columbus Day or Thirsty Thursdays, which you seem to celebrate, it's actually the freaking Jewish New Year and the kickoff leading up to Yom Kippur. Someone should probably tell Michelle that Christmas isn't a national holiday.
Join this gym if only you're looking for a hookup scene or to snag a new date, because it certainly has that in its favor.
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