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  • Jetta and I ended up here after trying to navigate Chino Bandido and failing. I just wanted a menu with items on it - not a score card with acronyms that might as well have been arbitrarily assigned. Burrito Bandito, your menu is so straight forward a stoned college student could navigate it with ease. I ordered a veggie burrito, because I was so heat sick from driving all over Phoenix that any actually meat might have put me over the edge. I was heartbroken, Burrito Bandito, because I'd been buttered up to expect something glorious. What I got was a sad little excuse for a food item that tasted like an amputated normal burrito. Your veggie burrito cannot stand up on it's own, it is merely a regular burrito with the meat held off. And it tasted just like that - like something vital to the burrito was missing. The tortilla was so dry it flaked like paper. There was no cheese! What the hell is up with that? There's sour cream, but no cheese? The tomatoes tasted like they'd accidentally been sprayed with cleaning product. Burrito Bandito, I want to love you. I want to tell stories about you back home in San Francisco. But I felt you were punishing me for going meatless! I'm not a vegetarian, BB, I'm just a little car sick from the 110º weather! Please, do not criticize me via the food. I'll give you this, BB. Your Baby Banditos, all smothered in jalapeño cream cheese, go down mighty easy. Crunchy and chewy and cheesy and spicy. Take that, Taco Bell. BOOM-shaka-laka.
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