| rev:text
| - This place fell off like a big mac topping.
The redecoration has the feel of entering the doors of a Kate Spade to being seated in the center-left of an Old Navy. The sea-foams, bright pinks and late tween female bedroom decor look of neo-elegantly grafittoed chalkboards, bulbed displays and hyper lit interior is in clear contrast to the paired down menu and sup bar eats that scream "dingy bar".
I must be a glutton for punishment because I came months back with my SO and ordered the Seafood Pasta dish to much fizzle...yet here we return. While awaiting Jurrasic World showtime, we come in for a bite only to find that the disappointment was far from a one off.
A solid pitch was thrown in presentation when our (very friendly, kind, and professional) server delivered the fish tacos! First bite- strike one; tasted JUST like my microwave used to make. Coming straight down the middle, we were pitched Jerk Chicken Tacos (stop drooling, you look simple....and) another complete strike - lets pause for a second and discuss this one right hurr:
Now. I am a man of Caribbean descent and I understand that "jerk" is relative in numerous ways; location, tradition, commercial vs home, etc...but where in chthulus green earth is Jerk EVER, EVER made with mayonnaise? Rass...
Strike two.
I will say that our guest gave the ceaser salad wraps a passable grade. Ball one Kelseys, ball f'in one.
Our showtime came but was sold out so we came back to watch the NBA Final and continue our excersice in gastro-masochism...this round we got the popcorn shrimp app: thickly breaded with what tasted like flour and dorito dust and served with the exact same sweet chili thai dip Pizza Pizza serves! except worse! The shrimp tasted like poverty and the dip had a flavour akin to depression with hints of regret. In the 20 min. it took for our (albeit friendly) server to return, 2 shrimps were eaten and she immediately swapped that terrible memory out for the Spinach Dip, ahem "Spinach Dip", better named "bowl of cream cheese with no name brand microwaved spinach stirred in...so bôn apetit, bitch" - strike, like 4 man....my baseball analogy kinda got lost there but whatever, I'm a basketball man, man.
That shit was so bad, Lebron James saw us eating it and lost the game to Golden State.
So to sum: decor looks like a Katy Perry teenage fans room, food tastes like hate and depression and service is...scattered at best BUT the servers themselves are awesome people.
Go if: you want wine on tap
Dont go if: you have shreds of dignity and self respect
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