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  • A few years ago, I took a trip to Phoenix as a thank-you gift from a client. Hey, win a $330,000,000 case, get a free weekend trip to Phoenix. Who knew? What was the highlight of the trip? The fantastic hotel? Nope. The multiple free rounds of golf in the middle of February? Nope. The adoration of my client, who owed their entire continued corporate existence to my courtroom magic? Oddly, nope. Waffle House? You got it! The Mason-Dixon line can also be called the IHOP-Waffle House line. North of the line, IHOPs abound. South of the line, Waffle Houses flourish. Given my choice, I'd take Waffle House every time. Here's why. 1. Everything on the menu can be added as a side order to anything else. Want bacon and eggs? Fine. Want to add 1 pork chop to that order? $1.99 more. Want to add 2 pork chops to that order? $2.99 more. And so on, all the way up to 6 pork chops. Same story if you want to add a t-bone (higher price, but still). So, you can literally start with bacon & eggs and end up with a 15,000 calorie buffet-buster, and still be out....maybe....$10. 2. The waitresses don't fark around. They keep the water and diet Pepsi coming, call me "hon," and get the job done. Plus, the check comes with the meal, which saves me time when the ambulance arrives to take me to the ER for an emergency stomach pumping. 3. No reservations required. Listen, I can eat New American food till the cows come home. But sometimes, you just need a little old fashioned Low American. Traditional. And Waffle House fits the bill.
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