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| - My soulmate and I came here on a brisk Saturday morning this past weekend. She suggested it earlier during the week for the phenomenal food, but ever since my experience with some sad diner in Maine 14 years ago, I have been quite skeptical of the whole diner scene overall. Fortunately, I am here to tell you today, folks, that my skepticism of diners has been fully released from my massive egotistical diner-hating mind, thanks to Big Al.
She parks in the parking lot and commences to full sprint towards the front door. I thought this could be attributed entirely to her being hangry, but after whipping out my Nike Free 5.0's and chasing after her inside, I witness a scene straight out of Club Obi Wan in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom...tables flipped, patrons lying on the floor unconscious, food mysteriously becoming clothing for many. I look in the corner and see the beautiful gleaming smile of my boo waiting patiently for me beyond the apocalyptic scene of destruction. Oh, how I love her! I sat down and waited for the scene to normalize; she told me that table selection is given entirely to the patrons of this establishment. Suddenly her destructive tendencies were quite understandable.
After normalization was established within our environment, I proceeded to take it all in. I noticed a picture of the Three Stooges. I do enjoy their crazy antics...and look! They were golfing! I also like to party. Already Big Al knew me all too well! Smiley faces were glued onto the window sill next to us...fuzzy too!! I do love me some fuzzy smiley faces, their tender touch and eternal happiness just gives me goosebumps on my raging pecs.
My darling ordered the corned beef hash combo, I placed an order for the country fried steak combo and a side of fried green tomatoes (that movie, still to this day, gives me major feels...oh Idgie!). I see that people complained a lot already about the servers in this establishment...let me just tell you right now, this is how it should always be. Take my order, bring the food/check, and hella leave us alone! PERFECTO! We received our meal at relatively the expected pace I would assume this food should be cooked to order with.
The corned beef hash was AMAZEBALLS. The country fried steak was AMAZEBALLS (true or false story...this may be pork. It also may be beef steak. The answer may be in between). The eggs were AMAZEBALLS. The toast was AMAZEBALLS. The fried green tomatoes (along with the movie) were AMAZEBALLS. Tears started swelling and falling down my cheeks and I may have made a mistake in my pants...honestly I didn't check them the rest of the day as my mind was on the food from this point onward. My love looked to have the same thing happen...I believe we truly found God on this day -- maybe temporarily, but the magic is still there as I write this today.
We received the check and proceeded to pay. It was a sad moment, thinking about leaving this little nook of a diner, but all good things must end at some point in a day. I noticed a food tray in the counter that had a pretty fine looking woman on it, we do have quite the fetish for such things...of course after the right modifications. I attempted to haggle with the cashier over this treasure, but ultimately I only was offered a tin of Borax. Maybe this is the cause of all the angst over the working staff in this fine establishment? The world may never know, but surely I know one thing....Big Al definitely knows how to create food ecstasy!
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