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| - Recently, a person I know claimed to love Italian food and this chain restaurant. They went off on a tirade about how much they loved this place. This review is for them, after our shared meal and suicide-inducing friendship.
This new location is a shining example of the Maggiano's chain. The food choices and quality are the exact same as every other location, ensuring that there is literally NO variation in your dining experience. If they served burgers Ray Kroc would ejaculate in his grave. This chain has done a great job of attracting the Olive Garden crowd, then squeezing $5-$10 more per meal for decor and the perception of "fancy" dining. If they offered unlimited bread sticks, an 'all you can eat pasta night', and had 5 years of pasta sauce slopped on the floor it would be the spitting f***ing image. What do you expect from an Ameri-talian, red sauce smothered insult to a rich culinary heritage? My fellow Americans, we should all be embarrassed that we've allowed this crime against the culinary arts to continue for as long as it has.
If you're reading this review and challenge this comparison, ask yourself two simple questions. 1) Do you think this place is better because you dress nicer and expect a bigger bill, 2) If you personally wagered $1,000 of your cash to prove that you could discern Maggiano food versus Olive Garden, exactly how confident would you actually be? That's what I thought. Back to the trailer park where you belong.
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