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| - Oh, T.I. You should be ASHAMED to even call this a "Buffet."
We got comped, so we checked it out, and decided "What the heck." Unfortunately, we'd checked it out at late breakfast time, and actually did the whole "Eating" part at dinner. Breakfast, if small in selection, at least looked decent. Dinner?
Oh. Em. Gee.
First of all, I really hope EVERY person (all 6 of them) at the buffet that evening were also Comped. Because seriously? If I'd paid $22 for that "Selection" of foods, I'd be calling the Better Business Bureau and reporting fraud.
Ok, so: The decor is contemporary. It looks chic.
That's where it ends. Let's take the tour:
Sushi "Bar": Actually a mostly-empty shelf with saran-wrapped platters of old, oxidizing nigiri behind glass next to a shelf of mini-plated with 2-3 Nigiri apiece on them. The "Fish" (Salmon and Tuna, presumably) was happily decomposing...(I mean "OXIDIZING" but that's the first step) atop the solid riceballs. The dark coloration of the Salmon was disgusting, and I walked right past it.
Next Station: The "Confused" Station. Grape Leaves, Hummus, and Olives... with Seaweed/Krab and vinegar "Salad" and some other randomness. Got the Grape Leaves and some Hummus. They were actually the best taste we had of the entire "Buffet"... and they were pretty mediocre.
Then came the "Chinese" Station. Some LoMein, Fried Rice, "Kung Pao" chicken, Beef and Broccoli, Stir Fried something, and a Pho Station. Cool... some Pho. Or not... since 3 out of the 4 bowls were non-pho soups. (WonTon, Ramen Noodle...Don't know what else...) I got a bowl of the Beef Tendon Pho. The broth was actually decent, but there were no "Pho-courtiments" like basil, cilantro, bean sprouts, fish sauce...Nada. Take it as it is. Also: The "Tendon" was also Tripe. Mainly Tripe.
Sigh.
Beyond that, it was the "BBQ" section. Pork Spareribs in a Pile under a Heat Lamp (really.) Skunky Mac'N'Cheese, Undercooked Collards, Mashed Sweet Potatoes with NO flavor... and "BBQ BEEF BRISKET." Which would be fine, if it were not the EXACT SAME BEEF that was labeled right next to it, in a steam pan with gravy, as "FLANK STEAK"... AND... over in the MEXICAN Section? SAME MEAT Labeled as "Carnitas"!!! What. The. HELL??? There was probably more at the "BBQ" area but I'd moved on.
Then there is a refrigerated salad station where they'll make you one of their pre-set "Salads." I had to BEG for just a couple of the Fresh Mozzarella Balls... since they were "Locked Up" behind the glass instead of on display so that people might actually EAT THEM. There WAS a "Cheese Plate" which looked like something they'd bought at Costco and set out. Charming.
I'm skipping something here, but I can't remember what. At breakfast it was the Omelette station. At Dinner, it apparently was unappetizing enough to drop from my memory. Coming up to the Pasta Prep Station. They have old, hard, cold "Display" plates of their offerings. Even if I had been hungry enough (or brave enough) to want to try their "Creations".... those plates would have been deterrent enough. Gross.
And last is the "Mexican" themed bar. "Carnitas" consisting of the same "Brisket" err... I mean "Flank Steak"... Yeah. And Osso Bucco... except that it was all BONES and one teeensy sliver of the Osso Bucco meat. (To it's credit, the meat was tender.) There was also dried Mexican rice. And some other stuff. Again, it didn't warrant me remembering what it was.
Obviously we didn't eat much of what they had to offer. But it was comped, so at least we'll get some coffee and desserts out of it...
Ohhh, strike that. Coffee Machine Broken. Natch.
Well. So the desserts. Usually the desserts are the shining star of even a mediocre buffet. But I forgot: This place can't even qualify as "Mediocre." This place is downright BAD. With desserts to match. The "Fresh Donuts" were... well... let's just say there was no deep-fryer in sight, and the "Fresh" donuts that *weren't* out for the grabbing were set on a 3-tiered plate, rotating under a HEAT LAMP. Uh-Huh.
The cupcakes LOOKED pretty, but also LOOKED plastic... and probably tasted the same. I wouldn't know.
The Creme Brulee was caramelized on top.. sort of. I tried one... and the vanilla pudding beneath was... lacking. In flavor and texture. I grabbed a Fruit Tart, too, and it had the same filling as the Brulee, but without the faux-caramelization.
They had a Cotton Candy machine. It was neat to look at. That's about it.
Their Ice Cream was Edy's... which is better than average as far as branded Ice Creams go, so the Man had some Dulce De Leche.
The whole experience was pretty sad. Seriously, if I'd PAID for this junk, there would have been screaming and demanding and threatening. There are a Gabillion Buffets in Vegas. Don't waste your time and money at this one. For less than HALF the price, you can hop the tram to the Mirage, and have a HUGE Corned Beef Sandwich that'll feed you for 2 days.
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