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| - QUICK & DIRTY: Imagine a Publix. Now imagine this popular grocery chain full of strippers. (Clean up on aisle 8? lol.)
*****
I visited Sapphire twice during my friend's bachelor party last month, and had A-OK experiences both visits. According to locals, the world's largest strip club garnered popularity due to their value aka cost to beautiful girl ratio.
My experiences:
*****
EXPERIENCE UNO: One dude in my group knew a guy who knew a guy who knew the bouncer, and we got in for $37 ($13 less ($50) then they usually charge). This also included a private section and a complimentary drink.
Both the bachelor's brother-in-law and cousin of my friend roll with a lot of dough, so women flocked over to us because he literally made it rain on a girl. (Something I've only seen in a music video.) Personally, I didn't care, for the girls because I hadn't eaten all day. My stomach growled, and I craved chicken wings and a burger so badly that I would've strangled a small horse to get some. (I know when I'm hungry when I can feel four of my abs.)
While starving, a slender, blonde Colombian gal named "Vanessa," strutted over -- in her impressive six-inch stilettos -- to me, so I tried to avoid eye-contact. The convo:
Vanessa: Papi, you know you sexy thang wants a dance. (Jiggles her boobs.)
Me: Oh, hi! I am cool, actually. I'll pay, for my friend to have a dance, though. (We both look over, and a gigantic ass has buried his face.)
Vanessa: No-no, papi. I know you want me. (Touches my netherregions.)
Me: Come back in a bit, so I can buy my friend a dance with you. Also...
Vanessa: F*** you, Slum Dog! Go to hell!
Me: Um, could you ask the server, for a menu? I'm so hungry. Vanessa?
Vanessa: ***Silence while walking away.***
*****
Damn. It would take me a while to unpack this interaction because the Slum Dog comment hit me on so many levels. (lol.) Overall, though, I found her rude. I also never received a menu.
After meeting Vanessa, throughout the night girls came and left while I waited, for the server (busy bussing drinks) to return so I could order food. During this time, all my friends received (private) lap dances, but I knew not to blow all my money in one visit. Plus, I got a mortgage to pay, yo.
One dude in the group dropped $3000 (he gave the stripper his credit card). He's dead now because I'm sure his cut off his hands and penis.
EXPERIENCE 2: On a Monday afternoon, I met up with the crew after a strenuous workout. (They wen to a pool party that I kicked me out the day before.) I paid $50 at the door and walked in to witness the belligerent party (only ones in the club) acting crazy and a bit aggressive.
I sat down, and one of them aggressively grabbed me while spitting all over my face and said, "Hey, baby, what's up?"
"Dude, get off of me, M***. WTF are you doing?" Yes, my friend was so drunk he thought I was a stripper.
Shortly after that terrifying experience, a server came over, and I had a pleasant conversation with her. I, of course, asked her about food and she said, "Hey, we don't have our kitchen up right now (7 pm), but you could go next door (to El Dorado Cantina), buy some tacos, and bring it in here."
You can read the more detailed story here: http://bit.ly/2keQycP.
Truncated version: We got kicked out, but I didn't have any problems with the security guards. (Shout out to the dude with the Prince pin.)
*****
Other tidbits:
- Bring cash and leave any credit cards safely hidden away wherever you're staying.
- If you stay on The Strip, ask limo drivers at your hotel if they get paid, for taking you there. A win-win, for both parties.
- El Dorado Cantina next door offers some fantastic Mexican food.
- I need to get on the pole dancing and pilates workouts used by the strippers. Some girls there have amazing upper-body strength.
- Don't get a private dance like my friend. Again, I think his wife killed him.
*****
OVERALL: If I participated in another bachelor party bash, and it occurred in Vegas, I wouldn't complain returning to Sapphire. I wouldn't go out of my way to hit it up, though.
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