| rev:text
| - The lakeview diner is a harsh mistress.
She's the kind of girl that orders the most expense pasta on a first date, the kind of girl that doesn't kiss you on the lips after sex, and the kind of girl that leaves you on the toilet for hours after a late night encounter.
Oh. That. Burn.
Went in last night around 1am to get my late night snack on with the wife, it was Wednesday, no line, half the sections blocked off, just how we like it.
Our server was a little bit of a robot - If skynet launched tomorrow, he'd be leading the charge. That being said he was efficient and speedy - his mother was probably a blender.
We both ordered burgers - the standard (veggie style), and the majestic... Which is just the standard with bacon / cheese... +$4 price tag.
The food took awhile considering there weren't very many people in the restaurant - during our wait no food was coming out of the kitchen and no one was really coming into the diner... It was a little perplexing.
We got the food - as usually I always eat the salad / fries first... I don't know why I did this... But after a few pints it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The robot puttered over to do his quality check, haven't even taken a bite out of my burger yet... But we said things were fine.
Here's where she strikes, t
ook a few bites into the burger and I noticed it was a little pink - which for me isn't the end of the world... But as I continued to eat, I noticed the more burger I bit into the more it moo'd.
The whole burger was severely undercooked ... I'm talking 50 shades of pink here.
First impression - I don't understand how you can undercook a burger that took 30 minutes to make - when it wasn't busy - at 1am - on a Wednesday night. If anything it should be burnt, right ?
Second impression - I'm an animal !
One of the other servers walked by and asked if I was done with the plate that I pushed off to the side -
I said "yeah I'm definitely done, the whole burger is pink." He then took the plate without a word, and went into the kitchen with robot to address the issue.
After that, nothing really happened... No apology, no one asked if I wanted something else, no one said anything to me. As if, they knew what happened was shitty.... And they chose sweep it under the rug.
"Are you done ?" was all I got.
Robot came back with the bill face down, "here's... the... bill...beep beep zip zop"
(I added the beep beep zip zop for tone), but the rest was spot on.
On my receipt, under my meal there was a "911" and "$-3.00"... Who the hell does that ?! Is that how we solve issues in the hospitality business ?!
If this incident was listed as 911, then why wasn't it treated as such ? Why didn't the establishment do anything/everything to serve and protect my hunger ?
3 dollars off a bill ?! Like come on, It wasn't even a percentage... It was exactly 3 dollars flat. Do you mean to tell me that someone came up with the equation that if we serve raw meat to someone that we knock off 3 bucks... What grand wizard conjured up that wicked customer service spell ?!
"Here's the plan patron: YOU pay $14 dollars for a meal, well take 30 minute to 'cook' it, take a few bites, you'll discover that it has a pulse, we'll silently take the plate away and charge you $11?"
AND BREAK !
Some may say that I just wanted to get my meal comped ... Yeah, who doesn't ? But, the long and the short of it is that they handled the situation terribly and didn't provide any options after blatantly and DANGEROUSLY messing up my meal. I should have been given an apology, offered a replacement meal, given a discount, it taken off my bill, a milkshake on the house, anything that would remotely reflect some sincerity.
"Are you done ?"
Ha.
Yes I am done - with the Lakeview diner.
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