| rev:text
| - Hooboy, Wonder Bar. You are not thrilling at all. Loud, but not thrilling. Well, other than the first time I came and you were dead quiet and not thrilling...still.
After striking out with Chocolate Bar, we hopped over to Wonder Bar, hoping for an improvement upon our last visit, but we were so wrong. From the outside, it seemed like it was the most exciting place on E. 4th, but we probably should have just followed the mob of Santas coming out of the bowling alley. They seemed to know what was up.
Alas, we still went in, lured by the loud music and the promise of a fun crowd. After my infamous "Poo-tini" over the summer, I decided to just stick with a dirty martini this time. Of course, this was after the bartender (note: this is the same bartender that ignored us in my previous review) handed us menus and stood in front of us sipping a Frappucino or something and gossiping while we stared at her, giving her our best thirsty eyes. Finally, she took our orders. What we got was NOT worth the wait.
I got a martini with some--seriously, this is what I think they were--Mazetti spanish olives--NOT martini olives. These suckers were smaller than nickels and one was only a half olive; the other two were a combo of smashed and pimento on the bottom of my glass. Shayna R. had the gingerbread martini which was tasty and smelled good...but the curse of the "Poo-tini" struck again. Her martini was garnished with a snowman Peep. (It kind of reminded me of that time everyone in college thought it was clever and cool to soak gummy bears in rum or vodka to make "alcoholic candy", but it really just ended up being a goopy hunk of gelatin that stuck in your mouth and held the alcohol in there for a little too long. Stick to jello shots if that's what you're going for.) I love Peeps, but I certainly don't like the idea of my Easter favorite sopping up brown liqueur and being so degraded; Shayna really didn't like that tiny snowman staring at her the whole time she was drinking, much like the men who were sucked into the game and staring at the TV. And the Courtney Love look-alike staring off into space. And the overexposed woman staring at the men staring at the TV. Everyone was staring. And bored. Which made me bored.
This bar is confused, if you ask me. Is it a bumpin' college bar? A sports bar? A classy martini lounge (I would rule this one completely out because those martinis are not worth it at all)? A jazz bar?
Wonder Bar, get over your identity crisis and try again. And stop with the weird garnishes and lame olives. I have a little hope, since this area is so enticing to me, so I only downgraded one star. You were better than Chocolate Bar.
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