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  • We rolled up to the Cheesecake Factory at around noon. They were running at about 40 minutes wait for a table, but my family and I were lucky enough to snag bar seating. I sat down and ordered a Bloody Mary and a plate of nachos for an appetizer. When my Bloody Mary arrived, it looked (and tasted) like watered down tomato juice with a solitary celery stalk waving hello. Barely any spices were added and I almost wondered if they forgot a little something something. Strike 1. The nachos were decent. Nothing special, but passable bar food nonetheless. For my meal I ordered the "shepherd's pie" (though with ground beef instead of lamb it was more of a cottage pie). Lunch came out almost on top of the appetizers. Strike 2. Oh well, no biggie really. Initially, the meal looked promising with red potato skins in the mashed potatoes, julienned carrots, and parsley. Unfortunately, I was in for a nasty surprise. It turns out when the Cheesecake Factory says "ground beef", they really mean "huge chunks of crumbled up hamburger patty". I also have a sneaking suspicion that they save the hamburger patties they really screwed up for the dubious honor of being covered with gravy and hidden in mashed potatoes. The patty used in my meal was blackened and crispy on the bottom. They tell you that activated charcoal is great for detoxification. Well, based on the hunk of carbon I just snacked on, I should be rid of any toxins I've come into contact with for the last ten years. Not delicious. Hey batter batter. He swings, he misses. Steee-rike 3 and I'm outta here.
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