| rev:text
| - In business for longer than I have been on this earthly plane, Jose & Tony's is the "The Room" of Pittsburgh eateries if they are to have a cinematic turkey of an equivalent. For most of my life, I've been told by friends, family members, and strangers to avoid the J And T. Yesterday evening, Kay and I took a gamble on Joe 'n Tony's since they're near our chiropractor...just to experience it for ourselves.
And it really wasn't THAT terrible.
To begin, we found J&T's to be warm, cozy, clean, and welcoming. The place was not at all sketchy or grimy. Our chipper, pretty young server was a joy to be around. She appeared to almost dance about like a ballerina or a sprite as she waited tables, charming patrons both regular and unfamiliar of all ages. We adored her. The clientele was well-behaved, and the ambience was surprisingly tranquil. No one was rowdy, loud, or noticeably sloshed.
We shuffled up to a counter and referenced a menu on the wall located just past a cartoony mural prior to choosing our poison. Astoundingly cheap for Mount Lebanon, we ordered aplenty, and our cute, fun new friend brought all of our food to our table without delay after we paid up.
I'm hand-wringing here as I compose this review, and it's mainly due to the fact that, well...J&T's apparently nukes everything and makes no effort to disguise it. The unshaven cook and I even met eyes when he did the radiation tango with my Burrito El Grande. Almost shrugging, he seemed to say to me with his facial expressions, "What? You got a problem, mac? This ain't Casa Reyna."
Served between piles of Spanish rice and refried, cheddar-riddled beans, the large burrito was filled quite generously with ground chuck...
...and hell, my Mom makes better Mexican than this. I coulda made this myself. The beef wasn't even seasoned. There are packets of spices sold for this sort of thing, y'know?
Las Palmas Carniceria, a local chain of Mexican groceries known for their popular sidewalk tacos, grills all of their beef regularly on a flat-top. Whatever isn't used immediately goes into a steam pan. There you have it: Zero excuses for microwaved entrees in a restaurant.
I couldn't view all of the kitchen action, but it seems to me that the cooks merely assemble each precooked dish and irradiate it for service.
If you keep the food hot or cook it to order, you shouldn't have to do that, right?
Robert Irvine would be livid. I can see that muscled Brit of Food Network and rescuer of eateries gone awry pacing about now.
Spare yourselves the drama, guys. My mom''ll teach yinz things ya never knew about homecookin'. That's if you want help, and judging by the attendance figures, your business is still surviving and thriving.
J&T's also sells burgers, pizzas, hoagies, and...what's that?
Mmmm...*crunch..nosh...licks fingers*
They do make dandy, juicy, crispy, meaty chicken wings, and they were only $5 last night! In fact, our entire meal only cost about $30, which is theft or charity in this end of town.
What else did we dig?
OH! Jose and Tony also make their own "sour cream dressing" as they call it, and rather fetchin' it is. It almost tastes like a prepared dip you'd find in your supermarket's frozen section OR as if they married creme fraiche to Hellman's mayonnaise. It went swimmingly well slathered onto my phat burrito, one that really didn't kill the pooch despite its prefabricated origins.
I also indulged in their *ahem* "Mexican Dessert." Psst. It's fried tortilla chips dusted with cinnamon sugar, and yes, they too were appetizing in a state fair kinda way. Gimme a paper cone of 'em and show me where the ski ball booth is. I got a teddy bear to win for my gal.
This is their other dessert offering, and I am not putting yinz on. 2 bucks gets you...this...
http://bottomlesswit.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Choco-Taco.jpeg
*Beep*
*Slam*
That goddarn microwave wouldn't be ignored.
Ah! I ordered guacamole too. It wasn't inedible either (nothing we had truly was), but it did have a little too much acid and not enough salt. I prefer it to be chunkier to boot, but hell, I doubt it was bought from an outside vendor.
At least I hope not.
Feck it, though, I make better guac than than Jose and Tony's! It ain't hard. I break up the avocado with a spoon, add kosher salt, some mashed garlic, and a squirt of lemon juice. Magic.
To conclude, think of my 2 star rating as a strong 2. Crud, all they need is a good chef or my mama's recipes. *nudge* She's as Latina as Don Sterling is a soul brother.
P.S. I didn't enjoy lambasting Jose & Tony's. Honestly. Color me frustrated more than snarky. Damn it. I wanted to like them! I wanted the haters to be wrong! For a neighborhood institution, that grub should be fresh and scratch-made!!! I wanna see a meat grinder! A tortilla maker! I want everything to be fried in lard! NO. MORE. MICROWAVING!
P.P.S. The outside of the joint has been gorgeously redone.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)