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| - This place is marketed as a welcoming visit to a rich friend's house.
Too bad the rich friend is a horrible person . . .
A friend told us to come check this place out so we came by and lined up. Line was fairly long due to no cover being charged but moved quickly.
Ahead of us were 6 guys having a boys night out. Once it was their turn to be let in by the bouncer, the line did not move. They all seemed to be engineers talking about their jobs and patiently waiting.
The bouncers constantly were accepting money from people to be let in which sucked since we were so close!
After about 15 minutes the bouncer told the guys in front of us that they did not have enough girls to get in and they responded saying they were having a guys night. . .
The bouncer then said unless they can go find some girls they wouldn't be getting in so they turned around and left.
It is finally our turn to get in now!
After a quick up and down look by the bouncer, our girls/hoes/entrance tokens are deemed to be wearing tight enough clothes and showing enough skin that we are promptly let in to this beautiful venue.
We are so happy to finally get in! Though I did feel a little dirty using these innocent young ladies as currency. . . But who cares! Women have been used as currency all over the world for thousands of years. At least this respectable venue is keeping history alive!!
Upon entering this elustrius home you will notice the overpowering smell of feces and vomit.
It seems the washrooms are right next to the entrance and they must have been serving tainted oysters or something earlier because the smell was just excruciating.
But who cares about stinky entrances right? The fecal matter particles will probably diffuse from my nasal passage by the time I get to the pièce de résistance - "The Backyard" aka the patio which was supposed to be where the party is at, so onward we marched.
We got to the main indoor area (The kitchen / Living room of this friend of ours) and it was packed. Awesome! This will be fun!
Then I realized, they were all in line to go to the backyard. . .
Another line!?! We just finished waiting in one line for 45 minutes and now we need to wait in another one. .
It also seemed like half the people were just trying to get back to the "backyard" after coming inside to use the washroom.
So wait, once I wait in line for 45 minutes and reduce the girls I am with to objects which hopefully the bouncer decides are good enough to barter for entrance instead of having to give him a bribe, I am lucky enough to wait in line in a place that smells like a gas station toilet just to go outside, hold my piss in after drinking a bunch of beer until I either get a UTI or finally buckle and go use the washroom, get stuck in the main room again but this time alone, line up and repeat. . .
At this point we decided to go somewhere else.
Maybe in my old age I have grown out of the party scene? Maybe my girls were not as willing to "go the extra mile and drop it low" fo the bouncers to allow us to skip the lines completely? Maybe it was my fault for not offering a "donation" to the bouncers? Maybe my expectations in a great city like Toronto are unrealistic and this is as good as it gets?
In all seriousness guys, the premise of an upscale house party kind of vibe seemed like a cool, fun, classy way to spend an evening but this place was about as classy as a frat house frosh kegger.
Clubs generally give life to this environment where bouncers to want to take bribes (honestly, I would), girl to guy ratios are strictly enforced, dress shoes are mandatory etc which I am used to and even have come to expect when going out but this place is another level.
If you are able to, just check out one of Toronto many great clubs and lounges, rooftop venues etc but in my personal opinion I would say avoid this place if at all possible.
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