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| - Ugh. I have been around the world twice and tried everything at least once. My iron armored gut was destroyed by the flaming trebuchet entree at this place. First of all, for a pizza place, as in their main purpose is making pizza, you'd think they'd make a better pizza. The reason the food is so cheap is quite clear; it tastes like the quality of a piece of cardboard lathered with crappy ketchup (not even Heinz) and then dipped in egregious amounts of secondhand grease. However, being the food trooper that I am I charged on and plowed through my two slice pepperoni special, and washed it down with a double dose of carbonated lemon-lime refreshment.
Away I went, dissatisfied and underwhelmed, but not as perturbed as to write a bad Yelp review. I believe in second chances, unless hours later the first chance gives me the most bowel shattering bubble guts I've ever had in my adult life. I'm quite literally in moderate pain as I write this, and will be shortly on my way to pick up a bottle of chalky pink goop to aid me in my agony.
If I were you I would bypass this establishment, for you'd have a better dining experience at Robertos or Dicky's BBQ next door, even if you are if off the floor. You would also save yourself of hours of despair, and frequent worship to the porcelain God (from both ends).
The most disappointing thing about this entire event is that my iron core has been shattered. Broken is the belief that I could eat anything without fear. The only silver lining is that they do not stock and hot sauces, and for that I am grateful. I can only imagine the savage category 5 storm that would be raging in my abdominal cavity.
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