==Reasons Why Nobody Goes To Rollero Anymore==
1. No Roller Derby.
2. Ever-permeating smell of stale sweat and negligence.
3. No Roller Derby.
4. A dress code reminiscent of an overzealous public school (no muscle shirts, no skirts, no hoodies, no hats or headgear of any kind, boys can't wear makeup and girls can't wear baggy jeans).
5. No Roller Derby.
6. Rules and Regulations, Puritan-Style. No touching, no going ahead of people, no laughter, no dancing. Name calling is prohibited unless you are alerting the staff to the presence of a witch. Or a boy in makeup. Egad! And No Gayness Of Any Sort! (Think I'm kidding? Try and hold hands with someone of the same sex.)
7. No Roller Derby.
8. An absence of recent movies featuring compelling roller-skating protagonists may have contributed to the overall disinterest in roller-skating.
9. No fucking Roller Derby.
10. The Eatza Pizza that used to be across the street has since moved.