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| - siiiiigggghhhh....
One cannot help that they have a ridiculous injury once it happens.. Although totally preventable, here I sit in the ER with wooden shish kebob skewer lodged almost an inch and a half and broken off in the bottom of my foot. OOOOWWWWW!!! Now, I understand on a scale of urgency an idiot that doesn't watch they're walking while barefoot after a barbeque ranks lower than, say, the girl hunched over in the corner vomiting or the man in the wheelchair that already honestly looks dead..but still. It is an emergency room and "emergencies" come in all sickness and injuries regardless of how stupid they are. I feel like I am the equvilant to the guy that went to prison for stealing office supplies vs the prison full of bank robbers. So for the sheer retardness of my injury, I let the first 2 hours go by with no argument. After three.. I am getting a little antsy, I mean I have a hunk of damn wood lodged in the bottom of my freakin foot. It hurts REALLY BAD, I could barely walk much less drive here and I am still waiting. I know what your'e thinking, and I heard it from my friends; "Kelly, why did you just call us?" Yeah, I could have called any number of my unemployed friends with nothing to do to come take me, but they also have nothing better to do then make fun of me for said injury. forever. So, I opt to go ahead and suffer alone and get this stick out and act like it never happened..Hour 4 was when I started to look around, REALLY look around and my fellow frequenters of the ER. I started to get a little nervous. Everyone there was sick. I mean like really, really sick. I am now thinking I may leave here way worse off than I arrived. The waiting room can hold about 25 people tops, and I do not know why after the hours I have spent tattooing my body to say "Fuck you leave me alone" without having to verbalize it anymore, do people disregard the other empty seats and sit rightnexttome. They could have at least showered for the trip..Hour 5 I suddenly remember the emergency lortabs I stash in my wallet and helllllo! I am in a room named after such events, it does not get more emergency than this right? I forget all about hour 5..and smooothly drift into hour 6 which makes way for hour 7 at which time I am finally called back! I am so excited as I crip walk slowly into the back and realize it is all a trick. There a secondary waiting room back here with better seats and shittier tv shows. Ugh I was just getting back into Friends now this copdrama crap ugh. I sit in the corber so I cant even get a full view of the crap on tv. Hour 8, text message cancel hair appointment. Get called back into a bed, sweet here it is!! No, the Physician assistant squeezes it hard to see if it will pop out. I inform her that the method had already been tried but I was glad to see that I was up to speed on the most current mediacl advances. I was quickly sent back to the seating area. Me and this deadly sarcasim..zing! what are we at..hour 9? Ok yeah hour 9 and the undercover cop that is also working for the CIA has a brillant plan to sabotage his longtime rival using nothing but the wax from a vintage bottle of wine retrieved from a top wine broker's high security wine cellar and I could not be more bored. I get called back into the bed and I am feelin like this is it, but it is just Xrays. Back to the seat again. The PA comes by and gives me 2 painkillers. The way this night has been going, I of course pocket one just in case. I still do not know what the hell those were but I was really happy to be there. I was cool with hour 10 and 11 and about this time the xrays got back, Sweet! So at almost the 12 hour mark on the dot, the PA comes by and says she cannot find anything on the Xray, and she will not "blindly start digging" into my foot. I tell her I do not need an Xray to tell her that I CAN SEE THE STICK BROKE OFF INTO MY FOOT, HERE IT IS! As politely as I can muster after being here for 12 hours. So instead of getting it removed, I get discharge papers telling me to follow up with a surgeon or my wound will become infected and very problematic, a perscription for antibotics to hold off the infection until I can get in, and lortabs..Well at least I can replace the emergency stash. When I follow up with the surgeon at 8am the next day I was informed that I would have to wait until Monday as the surgeon does not work on Fridays and the ER is fully aware of that. What a shoddy operation ( HA) thay have over there. The surgeon that they had me follow up with was actually amazing, and got me in and removed it for me on Friday. It was over an inch long and it was such a relief to get it out it was so painful. All kidding aside, if you have an emergency of your own, regardless of how stupid it is, I really would not suggest going here, as you will probably be ignored, tossed around, left to wait for freakin hoooours, and any of these could result in your death. That's right! Desert Springs = DEATH. remember that!
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