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  • Delicious vegan junk food! I am not vegan. I will never be vegan, but I will throw down with the best of them at Green. There are so many delicious treats on their menu I'm not even going to bother naming off the things I've tried here. Just go, eat everything, and when you gain ten pounds don't come crying to me. 'But Kristi, aren't vegan dishes supposed to be healthy?' ummmm NO! If I wanted healthy, I'd poach a chicken breast and eat it with some dry salad and brown rice. Maybe slit my wrists and hop into a nice warm bath for dessert. I come here for fake meat that tastes like angel tears. The only thing they're missing is a liquor license. Located in a strip mall, this place is full of Bieber-esque lesbians and 10 day neck beards just as you would imagine. I don't fit in but when exactly has that ever bothered me? There is even what appears to be a (very tiny) vegan market of sorts inside if you find yourself in desperate need of some Dayia or faux marshmallow fluff. You know, true diet staples. The register area is full of mouth watering vegan desserts that will make you say 'I didn't know you could do THAT with raw cashews!' Man, I love this place... I haven't heard any news lately about the supposed 'new location' but I really hope that is still in the works as it is much closer to home. I can see myself picking up 3 orders of wings to eat in the privacy of my own abode while watching some god awful Lifetime movies on a Sunday. Bring it on Green. nom nom nom
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