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  • Horrible, terrible foodborne illness. Shoulda turned back when I saw a kid put his whole fist into a jello after wiping his nose. Sure, they replaced it, but... one person manning a three mile long buffet cannot snuff out all the snots. How bad was it you say? Oh, well, when the PARAMEDICS showed up at my house, they thought I was a goner. During the ambulance ride I profusely vomited on, and shat on, the sexy EMT. The sexy ones always show up when you are projectile... anything. Almost ten hours and two bags of fluid later, I was allowed to leave the hospital. "Oh, but Anna," you say. "How could you have possibly known this unfortunate illness was the result of excessively greasy pizza, premade salad and buffet style fruit?" Well, the neighbors who had gone around the same time also spent a few days wrestling for the toilet. If we could sell explosive baby poop, we would have been in business. Amazing Jakes was the only food within a week that we all shared... I'm going to go ahead and place the blame there. That pizza tastes exactly the same coming up 24 hours later. Thanks there Amazing Jakes. I am now thoroughly terrified to set foot in a buffet place again.
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