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  • I had been in here for a beer before, but never tried any food. The atmosphere is quite noisy--your eardrums will be shattered before the place reaches half capacity--so perhaps I've been subconsciously dissuaded from returning. An out-of-town guest was visiting me, though and she had a taste for pizza. Now, I had heard wonderful things about the pizza at XYZ. I also recalled walking behind a couple ladies on Detroit Ave one day, smelling the pizza they carried in boxes down the street. Based on those two things alone, I decided we'd give XYZ a shot. We placed an order for carryout at the bar, which consisted of a large (full-size) mushroom pizza, a Caesar salad, and a bruschetta salad. We were told our order would be ready in 20 minutes. Unable to bear the noise of alcohol-lubricated happy-houring 20-something women wooing it up, we adjourned for a cup of coffee. Upon returning 20-minutes later, we received our food and returned home. Interestingly enough, the pizza was cut into quarters and placed in four small boxes, as the restaurant seemed to be unable to order enough real pizza boxes. This was but an indication of things to come. The Caesar salad looked decent, garnished with crostini, but the dressing had barely a hint of garlic . Disappointing, to say the least. The bruschetta salad was okay, with nice fresh basil mixed in with the tomatoes, but I would have certainly expected crostini (you know, the foundation of bruschetta) like the Caesar had. The pizza was--to put it kindly--a complete effing disaster. The crust was charred black, giving the pie a nice, carbony exhaust pipe flavor. The mushrooms were the salty, gummy, straight-out-of-a-jar variety. This was the most absolutely disgusting pizza I've ever eaten in Cleveland, and there's no way in hell I'll ever go back. For one, it's incredibly difficult to burn a pizza. Two, the asshole cooks know damn well they gave us a burnt pizza, and yet they STILL boxed it up for us. Has this place no standards? I can't tell if I'm more embarrassed that I treated an out-of-town guest (from North Jersey, no less) to shambolic pizza, or that I paid $33 for the privilege of getting sick. I will be steering folks away from this place, and recommending Crust in Tremont instead.
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