I have no idea why the old guy at this bar felt the need to stand right behind me and keep sniffing my butt, but apparently the over-zealous security guy trying to justify his existence was kissing his. I was pulled outside by security (as we were about to leave, anyway) and he told me to not come back until I "cleaned up". So I went back to the hotel and took a shower while I was thinking of various ways in which I would never go back there again..
Update: after talking to my girlfriend, apparently the old codger who reported me to security for my smell, and didn't have enough guts to talk to me directly about it was chatting up my girlfriend while I was outside with security, and he was talking shit about me to her. So he was basically separating us and putting me down so he could talk to her, I guess. My girlfriend even said I was NOT too drunk, and NOT too smelly, and told me about the codger's shit-talking. Great. Management seriously needs to do some housecleaning here..