| rev:text
| - Went here yesterday evening with some of my cohorts for an amusing spectacle of ball scooping action. For the uninitiated, Whirlyball is a unique combination of bumper cars, basketball, Mayan handball, 1040EZ tax preparation, badminton, road rage, and curling. It sounds like it may be rather boring, but I assure you...that is far from the truth!
We arrived and proceeded to bare knuckle fist fight in the whirlyball arena for the right to ride in the black cars. Here is a little hint about that....the black cars are about twice as fast as the red cars. They do this specifically for the unseen crowd above the arena that are secretly betting on these bare knuckle fist fights. I'll return to the gambling situation later, there is more to tell!!!
Once the vehicles have been selected, remember to buckle your seatbelt and secure your belongings. There is no greater buzzkill in Whirlyball when someone just doesn't buckle their seatbelt and/or tobacco products fly out of your pants -- quite possibly due to the extreme turn on you will get while playing this amazing sport. Play is stopped while the offender is ridiculed beyond belief.
So now that you have chosen the black vehicle (hopefully -- if not you may as well just give up and ride in circles the rest of the match), proceed to just melt the faces of your opponent and score 30+ points. Whirlyball isn't necessarily about talent, it's about demeaning your opponent in whatever way possible. Throw the ball in their face, keep them locked in a corner, have the ball smash into the wall with their cart while you just lock them all in for 3 minutes, or implement intricate choreographed celebration dances/cheers. You'll know it is working when they can't even get 10 points halfway through.
Some other things to do while here - there is an arcade basketball shooting machine. I witnessed Kobe Bryant's doppelganger play this last night. There is a 1960's era television you can use to watch training videos of Whirlyball to up your game...don't mind the video, just bask in glory of this amazing antique. You will assuredly get an epiphany at this point that will make you simply dominant at Whirlyball regardless.
There is also a full bar, $5 minimum on credit card transactions. I purchased 2 of the same beers just because I could, and decided to change it to a more expensive beer after I already paid. I got into a heated argument with the bartender because he didn't care about the $0.50 extra that the second beer cost, yet I was insisting to pay it back...a Lannister always pays his debts. Unfortunately his mustache bedazzled me and I just caved in.
Lastly....if you happen to stay past 8pm, then you are in for one amazing treat. This is when the Mad Hatters Society runs up on this establishment and the real gambling begins. Always bet on the team with the visor, vehicle speed matters not in this case. And do not even consider the option that either team will score over 10 points. You will nearly always lose in that scenario.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)