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| - If you value your safety, DON'T stay here. No. Seriously. If you want to unwillingly share your belongings, then feel free. Otherwise, read this:
We're locals, but for the last couple of years we've been living in HB. We often have to go back to take care of our house, but if it's a short trip like over a weekend to do maintenance, we usually stay at a hotel rather than have the utilities turned on and off. We prefer to stay at Aliante because of distance, but they were booked, so we opted to spend one night at the Fiesta Rancho. BIG MISTAKE.
The first thing you notice when you walk in is that there are two types of people in the casino: Zombie seniors who never take their eyes off the slot machines, even when they pick up their free drinks or smoke while pumping quarters in and pushing buttons. The other are flat out dangerous gangbangers. That's it. If you have to go out to your vehicle to get something, you had better be armed, and it isn't against the senior citizens.
We checked in & had a room with a "pool view" on the first floor. BTW, that's not a pool, that's a cement pond. I wouldn't put my feet in it for fear of an infection that would drive away all mankind.
The entire place smells like they are trying to use a massive amount of toilet cleaner to cover the smell of about 300 campsite outhouses that have been used by 600 Boy Scouts at their annual Jamboree where they'd just sampled their first Mexican/Indian/Thai/Curry with extra Brussels Sprout fusion dishes in an all-you-can eat stinkfest buffet. I wanted to gag.
The walls of the rooms are literally made up of painted cinder blocks like you see on those prison shows. Honestly, the room isn't much better than a prison cell.
The first thing that happened was my youngest daughter, who always takes her shoes off when entering a room, stepped on an exposed tack strip and it punctured her foot. When I complained, they couldn't care less. All they asked was whether I wanted to fill out a security report. Are you kidding me? Send MAINTENANCE and FIX IT! Nope.
I should mention, we stayed on a Sunday night, not exactly a hotbed of activity anywhere else in LV. On the other hand, at the Fiesta, every night is a hotbed of activity because the gangbangers can just wander up Carey Ave. and Hey! If they don't have the bus money to get back to MLK, they'll just rob you to get it. But if you have a cell phone on you, they'll take that, too. In that case, you're one of the lucky ones. If you're one of those unlucky senior zombies, they will take your dentures, which apparently almost any pawn shop in town will cash in for a bus token, as long as the gangbangers paint one tooth gold.
The shower is made for someone 4'11" and shorter, and I am SHORT, so plan on taking a bath/shower, which means you're going to be sitting in the bath while the shower head blasts down on you. About every 14 seconds, the water will turn scalding, so schedule your bath/showers accordingly. Jump in. Batman roll out! Wash hair in 12 seconds. Jump out! Breathe. Jump in. Wash your body in 12 seconds. Jump out! Just hope you don't have to shave your legs. Otherwise, there's a good chance you won't have any skin left from which to shave any stubble. Forget shaving your arms. I'm pretty sure, if you're as careful as I am not to cut the armpits for fear of any sweat later causing you horrible pain, you'd wish you were in Mexico drinking the local water while taking a laxative instead of showering here.
On the other hand, considering the housekeeping, I wouldn't even suggest you sit on the toilet without Clorox Wipes under you. Sure, your a** gets a bleach burn, but it's better than the Gunga you will probably catch from either the toilet seat or the bathtub. For this stay, just soak a towel in bleach, carry it around with you, and use it to step on, bathe on, sit on, sleep on, and wash your hands, face, teeth, eyeballs! Pretty much, by the time you get out of there, if your skin wasn't that white before, it will be when you leave. Or, you know, you may have caught something you don't want to bring home to your wife/husband or kids.
And let's talk about the water closet. Not a bathroom. Do yourself a favor, and just go ahead and give up wiping yourself while you're a guest here. I am 5'3" and weigh 95 pounds so I can't imagine how much of your hand will be immersed in the toilet water just to wipe if you're bigger. The toilet is made for children, which strangely at first, made me feel tall when my knees were way above my hips. I'm happy when my feet touch the ground when I am sitting on an adult chair, so if you don't have this short-person problem, holy crap! Don't go to the bathroom here. Bring a wok. You would be better off! You can do all your business right there in the wok, toss it in the hallway, and no one would know the difference with the stink of all those Boy Scouts eating their stinky buffet and the 7000 pounds of toilet cleaner they use...everywhere!
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