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  • when the mother wants lobster, to red lobster we go. it was a bit different when i went to college in maine and she came for a visit but hellsya red lobster brought the goods tonight, specifically tim, our waiter, and as the hostess referred to him as she sat us (i think all red lobster wait staff may somehow go by the same title but tim was ridic), our "seafood expert". first, tim fielded the 129 questions about substitutions from my mom like he wrote the book on jewish mothers. it was like he knew that when my mom tries a bite of someone else's food she returns the spoon or fork with half of the original food on it. when we asked for an additional spoon for her to try my soup, he brought her a little plastic cuppy of soup just for her, to avoid half eaten food on utensil interference. second, my wine pour was generous and appreciated. third, i don't know what the fuck is in those buttery delicious biscuits but hot damn they were buttery delicious (for anyone who comes to portland or lives in portland and reads this, imagine pine state biscuits times 2347) and fo freee and tim kept em coming. chains often get a bad rap, and often for good reasons. but tim the seafood expert + decentish lobster+ buttery delicious biscuits + big wine = 4 star. my only negative is that they are really pushing this design your own festival of shrimp shit a bit too much. i have now unbuttoned and am ready for the rest of a night with mother, which will likely involve law and order, cribbage, and our daily routine of shitting on sheriff joe. toy lista
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