| rev:text
| - Your major is sociology and the assignment is exploring idiosyncrasies of various counter cultures.
But you procrastinated when the professor was doling out the choices.
Now there are only two left.
Rednecks and Bikers.
You choose the former, but now comes the dilemma.
Where in Phoenix can you study rednecks in their natural habitat? (bars and brothels excluded)
Well look no further. Kay's is your first stop.
Kay's is located in an industrial section of Phoenix surrounded by farms, nearby cattle ranches and all around shit.
Surrounded by junkyards, (replete with junkyard dogs) - packs of wild dogs roaming the streets and a gigantic garbage dump next door - Kay's offers the finest in redneck watching.
Yes,the people who harbor these dogs, drive combines, milk cows, and do garbage dumpy stuff all light here, at Kay's.
Yes, Kay's will deliver that down-home atmosphere you're seeking, that is, if down home happens to be the back woods of West Virginia.
Home to the dentifrice challenged, Kay's is where men wear Wranglers, Roper boots, and all things Carrhart. No fancy jeans here.
Here you'll find men whose musk isn't Old Spice or Axe, but Dow Chemical's #105 or Union Carbide's Weevil 'B Gone.
Go inside, take a seat and eavesdrop on the next table, let's get started with that assignment, shall we?
Redneck breakfast-goer: "N I told that little brown puke, this here's Amerca boy, 'n if you don't like it,you can gettttt the fuuuuckkkk out!, you lil rice-eatin, bean-fartin motherfucker."
Redneck's little buddy: "N whad he say Earll?"
Redneck: "Lil sumbitch jumped in his '64 Impala 'n made tracks, probably fer Me-hee-co."
Little buddy: "Sposin you tol him Earll."
I love going to Kay's for breakfast, but never lunch, even though their lunch specials are to die for. Especially the cheeseburger - one of the best in Phoenix.
The breakfasts,especially if you get there around sun up when you'll get to see all these scourilous knaves in their natural habitat, sipping coffee, wolfing lumberjack specials even Denny's would envy, are the total shit!
I typically get a bowl of cream of wheat and a couple poached eggs. It comes to nine bucks with coffee and the tip. A little pricey but not when you consider you're smack dab in the middle of a cornucopia of societal throwbacks.
Well worth it.
I love going to Kay's.
Listening in on the conversations.
Wondering just how it is Phoenix managed to adopt a little piece of Appalachia in its own backyard.
And being a part of a contra culture Jeff Foxworthy would drool over.
Note: I should probably mention the owners are nicest folks you'll ever meet and, there are a lot of police in here too. Police must identify with rednecks I suppose.
One more thing.
Since I gave you the tip on Kay's, I expect to be included in your footnotes.
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