Dear Jay-z,
I'm sorry I'm not a rapper, a "ballaaaaaaa," nor a rich ass B*tch! I'm sorry I can't afford your ridiculously-priced drinks! I'm sorry I do not enjoy your 100 big screen tvs that light the "club." I'm sorry that your drinks are extremely watered down! I'm sorry that you add tip automatically to the drink bill. Most of all, I'm sorry for wasting my time in your spot when I could be drinking for A LOT less at some other venue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so not jockin' Jay-Z...
LOVE,
Mon