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| - After I was turned down from treatment at VDS, I went home and contemplated ending my life. They supposedly specialize in helping people who are far from hopeful and I thought that if even they believed I was hopeless, I must really be screwed. I will never forget Dr. Mason telling me that they couldn't admit me into their program because methadone would alleviate some of my physical pain and "I needed to be in pain in order to seek help". I had severe ulcers and infections in my legs, exacerbated by my continuing heroin use. I eventually lost parts of both legs.
It has been ~5 years now since I have used any illicit drugs and yet my legs are still not healed. If I had waited to get help until they were better or my physical health improved, I'd still be waiting and I'd still be using. I'm very fortunate to have found people who didn't share Dr. Mason's and VDS's assumptions and who believed in me at a time when I certainly did NOT believe in myself.
I struggle to describe the hopelessness I felt after my interactions with staff at this place and being turned away from this program without being offered any other hope or alternatives for assistance. If you or someone you love is in need of the kind of services that are supposedly provided at this place, I sincerely hope you find the help you need. It certainly isn't an easy path, but please don't ever give up hope.
I just graduated magna cum laude from ASU and Barrett, the Honors College with my BS in Justice Studies and am headed to law school. This is certainly not where I saw or imagined myself all those years ago, sleeping alone outside in the parking lot of VDS to make sure I was there at 4am for intake and it's a long way from being turned down from their methadone clinic, legs rotting off from fixing with dirty needles.
Staff from VDS contacted me after I posted my initial review. They said that my experience doesn't reflect their values or how they currently treat people. All I can offer is my own perspective of how I was treated several years ago and name the doctor I personally saw. After my graduation this spring, I couldn't help but reflect on my experience and the journey that has been riddled with failures and disappointments song the way. I was very fortunate to find kindness encouragement in unexpected places and I just wanted to let anyone who read my earlier review, or who is reading this now know that you are not alone and regardless of how you might currently feel or what you have been told, it's not hopeless. You never know what the future can bring, it's never too late to completely change direction and turn it all around.
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