| rev:text
| - Over-conceptualized, over-salted, and overrated. My date and I had a nice time together since the service was fast and friendly and peering over the rooftop ledge was fairly interesting. But I won't be returning because everything about this place was just so misleading. This restaurant kind of over-promises while under-delivering. Let me explain.
Concept food: where the ideas outsize the execution. Greenhouse invents (and proudly RE-invents) dishes to create unusual tastes and textures. As everyone reading this probably knows, do not be deceived: "unusual" does not necessarily equate with "good." Sometimes the ingredients paired for partner dancing instead broke out into a fist-fight.
We had tiny duck confit cabbage rolls which were distinct but not delicious. The spaetzle was a slippery mess of dough scraps so awash in butter that they ganged-up and refused to get on my fork. The so-so veggie burger was dragged down by a pile of hard and skinny fries. Plus every dish was salted to summon a herd of reindeer.
Small plates: if you don't like it then, poo poo, you obviously just don't get it. Meet your entree: an emperor who wears no clothes. For the high prices at Greenhouse, the amount of food which they bring you is an embarrassment. And yet the only one feeling embarrassed is YOU when you order 10 additional items just to stave off starvation. Now, I know that we in the USA take bizarre pride in our very large portions of cheap food, but I don't know if Greenhouse's rush to create the extreme opposite is a solution, or just a problem of its own. An un-filling and expensive problem.
Ambiance: erratic. The music throughout the evening skipped between genres while its volume enjoyed a steady climb. Around 10:00 pm they cranked it for that good-ol' party feeling. (The one where the noise suggest a room of 100 people, meanwhile 20 real people can't hear their conversations.) The ceiling-full of antique bicycles is cool, but we never found the info page (or price list?) to accompany the very visible number cards posted at each bike. Plus, a collection of VHS tapes and DVDs...for rent, sale, decoration? As mysterious as the recipes.
Rooftop patio: skeletal. Just enjoy looking down on 4th street, because there's nothing really up there otherwise. This would-be secret cove has a mess of bare tables and chairs better-suited for the destructive capacity of game-night crowds than for comfortable chilling with your sweetheart and friends. Lastly, beware the final deception of all: the beers listed up there as "Craft" - those all come in bottles and cans only. Every last one. Silly you for assuming otherwise.
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