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| - Knowing full well that this festival could be a major bust, we came here with the lowest expectations. Even with the worst expectations, this festival stooped below that! There is nothing Italian about this festival. It's more like a cinco de mayo carnival or a shitty kabob cook-off. You're better off going to First Friday for quality food!
People hate this fest - for good reason too. It. was. terrible. So terrible! I had to see it, to believe it.
When we first moved here a few months ago, we were actually really looking forward to going to the "Italian Fest" (...yeah right) since my boyfriend is Italian. But after hearing and reading about all of the horror stories, scams, and terrible food, our enthusiasm died down immediately. Unfortunately, we didn't get to dodge the bullet this time since our friends wanted to meet there for dinner and I didn't have the heart to crush on their plans.
The verdict? Let me tell you this, it's not worth it at all. At all! Everyone in our party had this look of complete disgust on their face by the end of the night. Talk about buyers remorse! Not only was this "fake Italian food Fest" a scam, so were the not-so-Italian vendors acting overly stereotypical "Italian"
Vendor: Ayyyyye guys whaddya gonna do?! Comma try authentic sausage and peppahs justa likea momma usedtah to makea!
Me: no thanks
Vendor: ahhhhhhhhhhhh! You see dis!? You see dis? (Throwing his arms theatrically in the air in disappointment that we're not buying his food)
Me: Keep walking. Hurry.
Here's how you quickly burn money:
- $18 for 2 adults to enter this hell-hole called San Gennaro Feast
- $8 for doughy-as-hell, stale, and nasty funnel cake from Funnel Cake Factory
- $15 (!!!!?) for a super ripoff ((1 inch)) lobster (cut with all crab) roll from the Lobsta Trap. Are you f'n kidding me?! Who the hell do you think you are playin' with give'n us that ant sized portion!?
- $12 (?!!) for ((3)) !!! offensively-salt-bombed jumbo cajun shrimp from T&T's Shrimp Basket
- $10 for a plate of stupid, overcooked, burnt, rock-hard steak and dry-as-death chicken kabobs with wilted salad and dripping in oil, soggy fries from Kabob House
^^^ you have been duly warned.
Only 3 items were actually decent and worth recommending:
- $5 for 2: 1 chicken and 1 pulled pork tacos topped with coleslaw and a side of baked bean chili from Billy's Bar-B-Que. I highly recommend the pull pork tacos topped with coleslaw! Juicy and delicious!!! 5/5
- $4 dried and overcooked BBQ corn from the Roasted Corn on the Cob stand. The corn was overcooked but it was pleasantly sweet. Just make sure to add all of those toppings and you're in business! 3/5
- $5 for a cold, bread-y, mushroom & olive calzone from JR's fine Italian Cuisine. The gal apologized to us that it was cold and took it back to reheat it. That didn't do much to make it better, but my Italian boyfriend ended up finding a glimmer of satisfaction in it. 3/5
Oh yeah, and to the lady that uses terrible sales tactics at the front entrance, harassing us to buy a groping session with your dancing monkey...ain't nobody got time for dat!
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