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| - Do you primarily watch MTV and E!? Is your idea of a wild night a few too many beers and appetizers at your local Outback steakhouse or Chili's? Do you enjoy Sysco burgers and watered down cocktails?
Well come on down to the Nitty Gritty! Especially if it's your birthday!
I was roped into coming to the Nitty Gritty for a girlfriend's birthday. It was her last night in Madison before moving back to Utah, and she was determined to do a "Madison birthday" at the Nitty Gritty. It was her big day, so I was ready to do anything. We came in around 8 and were greeted by a buxom girl in her early 20s, with a tan only matched by Chester Cheetah. Once seated, a agitated waiter quickly breezed through the menu and pointed out all of the birthday appropriate shots.
I ordered a rum and coke to start, because honestly, how do you mess up a rum and coke? I received a coke and water, with a smack of rum to it. The birthday girl valiantly suggested shots, so we ordered a round of "absinthe" based shots that came out with glow sticks in them. Now, I'm not sure why the glow sticks were there, but maybe it was to distract from the fact that these tasted like a drink created to appeal to people who have heard of absinthe or the Green Fairy from Eurotrip, think it's cool, and don't know any better. Without going into more detail on the drinks, it suffices to say they were all diluted. Maybe this is a good tactic for a bar that attracts most of the binge drinking population of UW-Madison, or the newly minted 21 year old that is out to get completely hammered. The one redeeming feature of the bar that night was the shotski - four friends taking a shot from a ski. It was cute.
Do you remember burger day in middle school? The patties were uniform, charbroiled, and sat in a pool of brownish water until slapped on a bun into your tray? If you loved those burgers, you'll go nuts for the Nitty Gritty. Douse this sucker in ketchup, mustard, relish, onions, pickles, anything you can, because you're going to need it. Honestly, in a state that prides itself on its dairy and beef, why would you skimp on your burger? There are literally some of the best burgers in Madison to be found within a 3 block radius. Maybe they are hoping that the newly legal clientele still have a nostalgic sweet spot for those old cafeteria burgers (even I liked burger day when I was 13, but it's because it came with an awesome brownie).
As for the sides: you can expect an anemic salad with some forlorn croutons, and fries that are probably better than they have to be considering the standard Nitty Gritty fare.
Finally, we were lucky enough to be here for POWER HOUR!!!!!!11111 From 10-11 PM they reduce the price of their drinks to their actual value considering the watered down alcohol content.
In summation: friends don't let friends celebrate their birthdays at the Nitty Gritty. If you must, stop in for one shotski, a birthday drink, and move on.
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