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http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#funnyReviews
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http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#usefulReviews
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  • Why did I pick this Postino review to write at 11 PM the night before my oral argument when I don't have time to craft an excellent review and have no creative ideas jostling in the brain? When the muse has abandoned me like a mother duck inevitably leaves her duckling who falls down a storm grate? When my eyes feel like heavy leather and my fingers feel like metal even heavier than the water supply in Flint? When my neck creaks like a brachiosaurus getting off a trans-Atlantic flight in economy class? Why now, at this inopportune time? Because I've applied to two Yelp Elite events and I want in, and I've been a busy work boy and a lazy Yelp boy and now I must pay my penance and write a review. Why Postino? Because everyone and their poncy purebred Australian Shepard "rescue" has been to Postino. Everyone knows the $20 wine and board deal is the best thing that happened to their posh, foodie souls. Every woman over 25 has already been here with her friends at least ten times, because it's not sloppy drunk if you're in a wine bar nibbling on arugula and prosciutto and sipping your third bottle. And every dude knows there's nothing like a bottle of wine in a fancy wine bar to guarantee that she'll want a massage back home... Everyone knows this already, and everyone already loves Postino. So I'm mailing this one in. Just let me go to the event, please. I promise more effort next time, yelp gods. Great for: Everyone and their dog. Bad for: no one, that's why I wrote this. It literally wrote itself.
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#coolReviews
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