| rev:text
| - After a busy morning, what with work, a sporty little run along the canal (good news...no floating bodies and no one jumping out of the bushes, trying to decapitate me this morning...yay!) and all the other attendant details of my life, I needed to get retoxed for a busy afternoon!
And today, with time being in short supply, I turned to my background in mathematics and science and revised the question of "how should I retox?" to "what is the most toxic thing I can eat for lunch and survive?"
The answer, my friends, is the Double Down from KFC!
Like all of you, I am a sucker for a well executed television commercial...and KFC's ad for this one has it all...large, beefy men eating a Double Down and admiring the "no bun/all meat" approach to sandwiching...nubile young women looking at them consuming said Double Down in a demur, yet admiring fashion...the subliminal messages that flash for a millisecond or so and implant the KFC craving so deep in our brains that it resides right next to religion and sexual preference in the subcortex...a completely "hindbrain" event...off I went!
The Double Down appeals to the 400 pounder living in all of us...double "bacon", wrapped in double "cheese", surrounded by double "chicken" (I use quotes around those words because I'm pretty sure that no actual pigs or chickens were harmed in order for me to have lunch...and the "cheese" was, well, let's just call it "petroleum based cheese-like food product").
http://tinyurl.com/67lxpl
The smiling men of the KFC lunch shift greeted me as I walked in and I had my Double Down and Diet Coke (HAHAHAHA...I know...Diet Coke) about 12 seconds after I paid for it.
It was as advertised...2 pieces of chicken (with no pesky bones to slow down your munching and gnashing), the bacon and cheese and some sort pinkish mayo in a wax paper wrapper.
The chicken part of the sandwich could have used either another minute or 2 in the fryer or a minute or 2 less in the warming trays...the breading was either under cooked or over greased (the fact that it was difficult to determine tells you pretty much everything you need to know about the quality of the "sandwich").
It just wasn't very good...and I didn't see any attractive young ladies gazing at me admiringly as I hoovered down this little gullet greaser.
540 calories (not that I watch that), 32 grams of fat (or lube, as I like to think of it), 1380 milligrams of sodium (I've seen salt licks back on the the cattle ranch with less than that) and 11 grams of dietary fiber (more lube).
The science behind this "sandwich" says I should typing this from the great beyond right now...but the sweet balance of my life...the detox/retox...the yin and the yang, all combine to keep me safe and reasonably healthy!
But don't try this at home...I am a trained professional!
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