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http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#funnyReviews
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http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#usefulReviews
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  • As an Arizonian, an avid late-night drinker and a Mexican food aficionado I believe I have a unique perspective on the competitive hole-in-the-wall Mexican joints in the Southwest. Rather than bore you with the succulent and intimate details of the carnitas tacos combo I would ask you to suspend your idea of a yelp review for a moment as I recount the mythos behind: BETITO! I'm not sure who Betito is exactly, my girlfriend believes he is the man who works the drive-through window day and night, slaving over a cash register and hot stove to provide good, quality meals for drunks and derelicts alike. You may be thinking: Why doesn't he just ask the guy at the drive through if he is actually Betito? It's a valid question but not how I like to live my life. Instead, I enjoy speculating wildly on how Betito came to this country, acquired his recipes and built a tiny little empire. ... I suspect it all started perhaps through some type of betrayal, there was a splintering off of the Betito family and they each took a portion of an ancient Mexican food recipe book as SEED MONEY! Betito showed them though, I like to imagine that he is the keeper of this ancient book after stamping out the rest of his family members. With the competition now eliminated Betito could now compete with the big boys... There are warring families of course: Rivas, Alibertos and the Phoenix equivalent to that gigantic new arena thing they built for the Dallas Cowboys: FILIBERTOS. dun DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN! I suspect Betito will defeat them all though, by sheer intellect and cunning. VIVA BETITOS! Now, Betito has some work to do, if you will consult this graph I've compiled... ... Oh! I've just learned that I cannot upload spreadsheets to a YELP review... What is this world coming to? Betitos Items that are better than Fili b's or Rivas - Carnitas Tacos - Carne Asada burrito - Patron burrito - All breakfast burritos - Enchiladas (cheese) - Arizona burrito Betitos Items that need improvement or fail to other local restaurants of similar competition. - Rolled tacos (taquitos) - Super nachos - Beef tacos - Chicken products ( I understand that most of these foods may or may not be "chicken" or "beef" or whatever but I suspect it doesn't matter as you are probably drunk ) - The End ???
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#coolReviews
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