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| - If you've stayed at the Rio then you've seen the posters for Martorano's. Big guy, shaved head, tribal ink, and a scowl. I stay at the Rio 4x or so a year and it's their posters that have helped me resist eating at the restaurant. As a marketing guy, it was clear that the strategy was to promote this guy's persona and DJ skills rather than focus on the food.
It was a free sample that drew me in. I was waiting to check-in when a pretty girl came around offering samples of a Martorano's meatball. I was shocked how good it was...really good...the best I've ever had good... and it was certainly enough to make me want to give the place a try.
Thirty minutes before dinner, I began to have doubts. The reviews for this place were so spotty, I have never heard anyone say anything good about the place, and I wanted to have a great dinner. Should I risk it? Maybe I should take one more look at the menu. It all looked good and I was fired up to go there again until I read the end of the menu: ABSOLUTELY NO CHANGES OR SUBSTITUTIONS. JUST LET ME DO WHAT I DO AND DON'T BREAK BALLS. The "balls" thing was kind of Philly-clever and I liked it, but the "absolutely" thing reeked of immature hubris. If you're giving it to me, I'll accept that, but since it's my nickle and if my request is reasonable, then it's my way or the highway. Despite this nagging "don't do it" feeling, I decided to give it a shot. Should I have listened to my instincts?
The entrance to Martorano's opens to the bar where it's intimate with a clubby feel. Before being seated I took a look at the dining area. Gone was the low light and rich feel of the bar and instead you're treated with a stark open plain and uninteresting room. There's nothing noteworthy about the decor other than there really isn't any. Pretty bland open room. What I gather is supposed to pass for some kind of industrial minimalist effect simply looks unfinished and incredibly boring. The awesome news is that the dining room blares dance music at ~2 little notches below club volume. The other reviewers weren't joking; it's loud. The only other time I've heard music that loud at a restaurant was at a "rock n' roll" teppanyaki place where the cooks fling rice at the kid's mouths. BTW, that restaurant sucked as well so I opted to sit at the bar.
Wow, only one other customer at the bar and he's getting his check. I'm gonna get great service, right? Hang on....the bartender...let's call him "Dick"...wants to bus the guy's area before he acknowledges me. A long 4 minutes later, Dick comes by to get my drink order. I get my drink and my menu and try to decide what to eat. I had a few questions about the menu, but Dick is still really busy...intensely focused...tending to his empty bar. I called out my questions and he yelled back his answers OVER HIS FREAKIN' SHOULDER. You see, Dick was far too involved going thru the day's tickets and lining up glasses etc to actually look my way, let alone stand in front of me. Clearly I was an interruption to him. If I hadn't been starving I would've bolted, so in an attempt to minimize my time here I decided to have just an app - the meatball with a salad.
While I was waiting for my food, Dick continued to amble about behind the bar, not once coming by (and the waitstaff wasn't keeping him busy). The food came. I ate it. Dick continued to personify his nickname while doing his busy work. Wait...2 girls just sat down...busy work is over and he's got all the time in the world for a 10 minute flirt session. Ah...Dick wasn't that busy after all, was he?! He was just being Dick.
The meatball was again really good, but a gristle in a meatball is JV and I found a gristle in my last bite, so it wasn't that damn good after all. I got the hell out leaving a far too generous $2 tip...wish I'd left the goose egg.
This is an odd review but it's an odd restaurant. The dining room ambiance is such an anomaly that the only crowd I believe this restaurant could appeal to are perhaps some teens and young twenty-somethings that like the loud music and probably haven't had a lot of (any?) fine dining experience. I'm certain this place thrives on Vegas first-timers and unsuspecting others since I can't imagine anyone enjoying an expensive dinner in their dance floor environment.
Trust the 1 and 2 star reviews. The bartender appeared to be some sort of manager and with his kind of skills, I'm sure the rest of the food sucks as hard as the service.
A final note: this is definitely NOT a $$$ restaurant. If a couple each has a cocktail and splits an app, has a salad and a mid-priced entree with a glass of wine and no sides and no desert, it will cost upward of $180 before tip. The only way to get out with the $$$ rating is to have no alcohol or under-order.
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