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| - Ever want to play tag at 3:00 am? Ever feel like a Subway sandwich at 4:00 am after playing tag at Walmart? Ever want to throw stuff like neck pillows and fishing poles at your family members and friends at midnight as a sort of pre-game for the game of tag that's about to commence? Yea? THEN COME TO WALMART!!! I love Walmart, I hate ANYONE who hates Walmart! Anyone who hates Walmart obviously hates America and is a communist!!! .....OK.....it's not that intense, but I love Walmart. Why you ask? Because this place is as big as a third world country (probably the size of the third world country that makes the items for Walmart), the prices are super cheap, and at midnight, the fun begins!
In OH, there's not much to do at all. When growing up in the 'burbs of OH, we were psyched when we heard a store called "Walmart" was opening up. But a few years later when this place became 24/7, I knew that God existed. When miracles like Walmart becoming 24/7 happen, that's when you know there's a higher power.
Listen, kids. Need some swimming shorts at 5:00 am? Aching for legos at 9:00 pm? Feening for some Tylenol PM to knock your annoying kid the EF out? Then come on down to Walmart! They got you, bruh!
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