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  • I don't know how to write this review. I feel very conflicted, confused, and like I still don't know what the hell happened. Like a first date where you think you had a good time, but then you get home and start going through all the little moments in your head. And you analyze them, and realize the guy was actually kind of a whack job. Does that make sense? I don't have high hopes for this review anymore. You shouldn't either. Anyway, I needed a carwash bad. I pulled up to the lane with the pricier wash options. No sooner had I decided upon the "VIP" did some dude come up to my car and within 2.5 seconds flat diagnose my windshield as having nicks that could - or more convincingly - "would" spread into a fall-out catastrophe with shattering glass everywhere. So yeah I knew there were a few minute nicks that could stand a filling. He said it would cost me nothing, insurance covered it. As soon as I heard his pitch, I started feeling that "screw you quit trying to bilk me" twinge rise from inside my sense of better judgement and I got ready to drive away. But he was a smooth talker, and my mind was telling me no but my body said "yes" - and I handed over my insurance card. Mother-effer. And then another guy came over to ask what wash I wanted along with another swift recommendation that I get a complete detailing package because there seemed to be tree sap on my car (lying bastard). Just $200 he says (bite me) but if I decide like, right this instant, he'll go down to $149 (bite me harder, mother-effer). I have no time, I tell him. That's ok, he says - I can prepay and come back later. I felt like I was haggling in some exotic locale. Only I wasn't haggling for something I actually wanted. And it wasn't Bangkok. It was a freaking car wash during lunch hour. My car never left my sight as I watched it get vaccumed, autowashed, dried, and polished for fear of these twits doing something to my car that would either cost me an extra wad of cash or pain. And then I got the best carwash I've ever paid for. What the hell.
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