In N Out tastes like every other fast food joint. Bland thin burger, bland thin fries, bland thick shakes with a high loogie factor. I couldn't even finish my chocolate shake (blasphemy!!!!), it was just so... boring. It tasted more vanilla than chocolate. I don't find the secret menu all that exciting.... it's pretty much just a bigger stack of stuff they've already got on the menu. So what? Fast food is gross.
And yet... all these 5 star reviews. Perhaps there's some kind of hormone that In N Out puts in their food, cooked up in a diabolical Christian laboratory, that affects 99.9% of the population. And somehow I am immune. To quote a great man, the designer of the piano-key necktie:
"Doesn't anybody notice this? I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS!!"