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| - It's next to impossible for me to write an unbiased review of Kennywood. My dad worked there for over 30 years; I worked there for four. I grew up five minutes away and Kennywood was like our equivalent of a playground; so many of my childhood memories are here that it will always be viewed through the haze of nostalgia.
That said, I'll give it a shot. Fair warning: This is going to be long. I hadn't been to Kennywood in at least five years. That's the longest I've ever gone without a visit, but I had a broken foot and then was out of state. I hadn't been there since the park changed owners.
A friend and I went this past Saturday, on the last weekend of the season, on a gorgeous, cool-but-sunny day, and the park was packed. They were also understaffed -- this happens after many of the staff go back to college. As a result, the lines for everything were just ridiculous: Food, rides, bathrooms, everything. One of the reasons I like Kennywood so much more than, say, Cedar Point, is that I remembered not having to wait in line for most of the day. That definitely wasn't the case this time, but I'll write it off to circumstance and try again next year.
THE RIDES:
I've been on every ride in the park except the Skycoaster and the SwingShot. Kennywood has some great older rides (hello, Turtle!) as well as newer stuff like this year's Sky Rocket. The latter looks kind of like it might be dinky and un-fun when you're standing in line, but it turns out it's hilariously amazing. That first hill is practically straight up and straight down, and the magnetic propulsion makes for an absolutely smooth ride.
My favorite will probably always be the Thunderbolt, though. There's nothing like dropping down into the ravines over near the river, and then getting squished (or being the squisher) into the outside of the seat. Twice. The Racer is unique in this country, and quite a lot of fun, but the double dip in the Jack Rabbit is more awesome (if you ask me).
We waited in line for 40 minutes or so to go on Ghostwood Estate, a ride that replaced the Gold Rusher. You get a blaster and try to shoot targets throughout the ride, and it tallies up a score for you in your car. The only thing is, unless you hit the targets, almost nothing happens -- and they're everywhere, so I was so busy trying to hit them that I didn't really get to enjoy the ride. Meh, says I.
Because Phantom Fright Nights are coming up, some of the rides were already closed (the Whip, the Old Mill aka Garfield's Stupid Nightmare Please Tell Me This License is Ending Soon), as was the Penny Arcade. They used to put signs up at the gates listing closed rides, which I didn't notice this time. Then again, I'm not sure anyone goes to ride the Whip or the Old Mill. Oh, and in years-old news, can I just say rebranding the Enterprise as "The Volcano" is really lame?
THE FOOD:
Well, you know, Patch fries. Are they that awesome? In my memory, they are. In reality (and someone is going to take away my Kennywood badge for this one)... well... er. They're good, but e.g. Mandy's has better fresh-cut fries. Patch fries are a bit overcooked and kind of soggy. But! you can get them with cheese, gravy, BBQ salt and ketchup for slightly under $4 -- all the toppings you want are included -- and that isn't bad. They used to advertise no waiting at the Small Fry location in Lost Kennywood, which definitely was not the case on this visit.
The food lines were so long we didn't end up eating anything else in the park, so everything else here is from memory. I couldn't even get a refill for my (really expensive) souvenir cup because we didn't feel like standing in line for half an hour to do so.
Weirdly, they had a little roped-off tent area with beer and brats. Beer! At Kennywood! We didn't try it, assuming it was Really Expensive. I did, however, stop in the Kandy Kaleidoscope for a real candy apple. Taffy apples have their place, but not when that's all you can get. The hard red shell is the way to go. Mine was sadly ruined by humidity and almost ripped my teeth out, this time. The fudge used to be good; all they had left was peanut butter, which I don't like, so I didn't try any.
THE REST:
Kennywood has lots of benches, trees and shade. If you need a break, it's easy to sit down and watch people walk by for a little while. The overall atmosphere is that of a great old-school amusement park. Unfortunately they got rid of general admission and tickets, so your non-riding friends or grandparents have to pay almost $40 now to get in. The grounds used to be really well maintained but it seemed like the gardens were in need of some attention, as well as most of the paint throughout the park. There was more trash than I'm used to seeing, and no sweeperettes. What?
I think Kennywood is maybe not as great as it once was, but I'm probably being a true yinzer about it. Change is bad! I'll keep going, though.
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