I pulled up to a nearly empty lot/parking bay, and waited for a good long minute before anyone even bothered to come out. When he did, he gestured rudely (about as rude as you can get without outright flipping the bird) and yelled at me to pull up to where he was at (well beyond the vacuum bay where I see cars normally stopped at). I guess I can see now why they were pretty much deserted during a weekday lunch hour. Fitting name, I suppose.
I just backed out and left. Went to another car wash that was less expensive and the workers were polite and helpful.