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  • Wait, what? Winter is over? I....didn't even know it had come. Winters in Michigan are spawned by the devil himself. They are demonic devices used to torture people on the east side of the country, for whatever reason. Why would such a thing as frozen car door handles even exist? Who does that to people? The devil, that's who. Where does 'Black Ice' come from? That's not even a normal type of ice. Only the devil can conjure up something like that. And what about freezing windshields? Huh? Who freezes the windshield...INSIDE OF THE FREAKIN' CAR?!?!?! THE DEVIL, THAT'S WHO!!!! Seriously, the winters here make the blistering summers an afterthought. This is as close to paradise as is possible on Earth. I couldn't believe that I was able to give away my winter coat for good. Hoodies as coats. No need for Lugz boots. Thermal underwear shouldn't even be sold here.
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