| rev:text
| - Hipsters, hipsters, they're everywhere!
One Saturday night a buddy invites me for supper and wants to try the Electric Mud. He hears from someplace somewhere that this is supposed to be the best BBQ in Toronto.
"Where did you say you want to go? Electric what? WTFBBQ?"
"Yeah, it's in Parkdale"
"Oh. Okay. Whatever."
Upon arrival, we find ourselves in a very cramped and dark divey garage room, with its beaten up grimy floor and its particleboard walls covered in all sorts of beer signs and stuff. It feels like a hipster version of those roadside biker dive bars you see in movies, albeit with loud blues music being beaten out of a skipping record player running behind the bar. But you can barely move an inch without bumping into a rushing server while hoping one of these picnic tables clear out soon enough and contemplating the place's obvious links to that other Parkdale hipster institution Grand Electric.
What they said was a 30 minute wait turned out to be closer to an hour, but at least they'll telephone you when they are ready for you. Then we raided the menu, ordering such things like their $14 pork ribs, which only came in a small-sized handful (like, four pieces) and was lean in protein content and taste. The brisket sandwich ($6.50) wasn't so much a micro-sandwich as it was a pile of succulent fried onions burying a pile of thinly cut and bland "Montreal style" deli brisket. On a half-foot-squared portion, it was practically half a meal.
Small portions, no reservations, cash only. Oh well; typical. There's an ATM and washroom upstairs.
The cute bartender saw us sampling all the hot sauces they had out while waiting for our grub and insists they had one much hotter than all of these, but her search came empty handed. As I sampled one of their house sauce-- a tangy and kinda sweet concoction called "Twerk and Jerk"--I saw the label notes it is proudly made "beside the Parkdale LCBO."
Ah yes the Electric Mud is indeed beside an LCBO, where we bought and finished bottles of Steam Whistle to pass the time while waiting for a seat. Where we watched a couple make out beside our car. Where you are greeted coming in and out by a bum who promise to spend the money you give him on beautiful hookers. It is the most hipster liquor store in all of Toronto.
On a sobering thought about the food overall back at the Mud, I must say I tasted better stuff drinking straight out of a bottle of supermarket BBQ sauce. It was finger-licking good, just not finger-licking great. Where's the mindblowing flavours!? The Electric Mud purport itself on serving American South styled barbecue, and if this is the best we can do in Toronto, then I might as well cry my way back to the American Confederacy. So what if American South barbeque is somehow now a latest Toronto foodie trend; serving working class food at hipster prices and portions, Electric Mud BBQ sure ain't no ribfest.
"If you can kill it, we can grill it," reads the bottom of their menu. Yeah, we'll see about that (*holds a squirrel roadkill found across the street*). But hey, $2 pints on Mondays. Too bad I live in the eastside, yo.
{TTC: take the 501 streetcar to Brock Ave. Then channel your inner Daryl Dixon (assuming you watch too much Walking Dead) and prepare to fight your way through a crowd of drunk hipster zombies for the next 100 metres. Declare "CLAIMED" upon securing a seat.}
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