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  • Picture it, if you will. Little old me, drinking at the Bikini Lounge from 2 in the afternoon until midnight with 3 friends. Drinking, drinking, drinking. So after 10+ hours of living solely off of beer, there can surely be no better idea than going to a strip club. Right? So we pack up and head on over. A high cover (sorry, for the life of me I don't remember how much) and a 2 drink minimum (which I do realize is standard) later, we're immersed in black light. As my eyes adjust, I start to see that this is really not the crowd I expected to see in a strip club. There is ZERO energy. No talking. No laughing. Nothing but rows of guys sitting and looking blankly at the dancers. We found some empty chairs in the back, and settled in there, and I was able to turn my attention to the girls. Ok, look: I know they can't all be Elizabeth Berkley (may the Lord keep her feisty Nomi Malone safe and warm forever). But I didn't expect this apathy. Bored looking women taking their short turns on the small round main stage, and more bored looking women walking around offering lapdances in vain. The thing about stripping is this: I thought the point was that you could make a lot of money. But we were there at midnight on a Saturday night, and these girls were getting NOTHING. In the hour we were there, I saw ONE man put money in a girl's pants on stage... and I watched, and it was a one dollar bill. Seriously. I sat there with my 3 friends (2 men, one other woman), all of us in a row, all of us suddenly sober, staring with our eyes and mouths wide open. I could feel my male friends' good mood deflate (ha! don't be dirty), as my girl friend and I felt like gender traitors just by being there. I thought these kind of places were supposed to be rowdy and fun. Was I expecting too much? It was the most depressing experience. I sort of feel bad even writing this, because nobody involved with that joint can be happy, I'm sure. But I figured I owe it to all you Yelp gentleman (and the ladies, too...who am I to presume?) to steer you away from this one.
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