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  • Ah, Magnum's. You manage to upsell me everytime. Am I some kind of sucker, or are you just that good? You are just that good. Your staff is impeccable, lots of long-termers... Loyalty means a little something to me. Your selection of everything for liver-pickling and lung-blackening, is among the finest. And now you have food. Ah, Magnum's. What will we do with you. We will reach deep into our pockets and spend spend spend. You provide the elixir that is the cause of, and solution to, most of life's problems. (Author kisses hand and gestures upward in the Italian tradition.) I once saw a woman drop her skirt while standing at your bar. Was it because her drink was that good? Perhaps. I am no frou-frou drinker, but I have been so adamantly upsold on such delicious drinks - the mint diablo something or other, oh lord, and the espresso martini - holy toledo. And I laugh and smile as I fork over the extra cash and relish in the tastiness of my small taste of alcoholic heaven. Ha-ha, what? Ha-ha, $47.75? Ha-ha, sure! Ha-ha, you'd never believe I was semi-unemployed! Highly recommend.
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